*DISCLAIMER- if you’re reading my old posts, you’ll see that my week 38 post has been deleted. I don’t know why, but I just wasn’t feeling it anymore*.
Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks topic, I will be elaborating on a social cue/hint you neurotypicals use, and why it is harmful for us. Some of you go out of your way to jab at us, so it’s about damn time that we take a jab at you. Like I said in the letter I wrote to neurotypicals on my blogs social media, you may think we’re weird, but we think you’re weird. It’s a two way street. Please listen to us. You can probably tell who the inspiration behind this post is. It’s you if you’re a neurotypical. If you’re neurodivergent, you’re all good lol. This post isn’t trying to be mean or meant to bash anyone in any way. If you think so, then that means you are doing something wrong with your communication towards us. For this post, I will be talking about that one fucking ridiculous social cue/hint you NT’s have. It’s called “the silent treatment without explaining a reason”. This social cue/hint has given me lots of trauma, and social anxiety. Not a lot of people who know me know that I struggle with social anxiety, but behind closed doors, I’m always second guessing my social interactions, and I get exhausted from beating myself up about past social interactions with other NT’s. I didn’t used to be this way. This is a recent thing from about a year ago that started because of your weird, NT tactics. Just the thought of sending anyone anything gives me anxiety. Whenever I send a text to someone, I’m taking a huge risk because I get so nervous of what the outcome will be. Because of some of you NT’s, there’s 2 reasons why someone doesn’t respond. In a world that makes sense to us, one of those reasons is completely bs, and really stupid. Those reasons are giving off social cues/hints of not saying anything, and if you’re genuinely busy. If you put yourself in our shoes in this moment, you should be able to tell which one we think is stupid. I know I’m not the only one who thinks this. I have friends who have autism, and we talk about you (delusional) NT’s more than you think. We’re all so fucking confused on why you all think this is a perfect way to give a social hint. Being silent does NOTHING!!!! Not to mention, it’s fucking rude. You guys are probably thinking “I’m not responding to them, this is so obvious”. (Newsflash- it’s not). Other NT’s have told me “me not responding is a social hint” or “she told you to stop texting her”. I’m sorry to break it to you, but that is not a social hint. A social hint would be telling us the direct truth, and ummmmmm, she did not tell me to stop. She simply said nothing. How else was I supposed to know what she was thinking?! I always feel so dumb in these moments. And when I get anxious if you’re not responding and the reason is because you’re busy, you sometimes get annoyed, and impatient with me. When that’s the case, I always feel like I have to apologize for it, and depending on how much I trust the person, I’ll tell them it’s because of my social anxiety, and past traumas with my social interactions. It’s like we can’t win with you people! Some of you tend to handle individuals with autism with “kid gloves”. (Shoutout to my therapist for teaching me this term last week). You treat us more delicately than you treat fellow NT’s. You think that being blunt, and honest is rude, which will hurt our feelings, and that we can’t handle, or understand what you’re saying. Yes, what you have to say may hurt our feelings, but it’s much better than us sitting here beating ourselves up about something that we have no idea what the reasoning is, and beating ourselves up for not understanding the “obvious” social hint of being silent. The longest someone ever gave me “obvious social hints” was 3 years.... Yup you read that right. 3. Fucking. Years. And I’m known as the crazy one.....? I would reach out time and time again wondering what on earth is going on, and 95% of the time, I got no response. (PSA- we can’t read your damn minds). The day this person decided to “come clean” was my fucking 20th birthday this past year, which is supposed to be a happy, special day. Not a day when you’re hearing the honest truth you’ve been waiting for 3 years to receive. There’s 365 days in the year, (actually 366 in 2020 because of the leap year, so she had an extra day to “come clean”) and she picked THAT DAY!! Imagine having that be YOUR birthday! She could’ve chose any other day to tell me the blunt, harsh truth. She didn’t know it was my birthday, but the odds of that happening are 1/365 (366 this past year), and it happened.... Again, yes, admitting to the truth may hurt our feelings depending on what it is you have to say, but that will be temporary, versus us wondering for days, weeks, months, or years wtf is going on, and us feeling like clowns as it’s all happening. I’ve been so much happier ever since that person admitted to the truth. As you can see, this post isn’t meant to be sunshine, and rainbows. It’s meant to prove a point, and for you to all learn what goes on inside our heads, and what we think of you. This is something almost all of us struggle with, but no one ever talks about it, so I’ll speak for the community on this one. This post isn’t meant to “bash” NT’s in any way. It’s to educate, and speak the truth. When it comes to my activism, and advocacy, I don’t sugar coat anything. I’ve been told that I’m “bashing” once before, and if you can’t handle my delivery, that’s on you. I will not change how I deliver my words because you can’t handle it. Anyways, thank you so so so much for reading my blog. I can’t even describe how much I love having this blog, and the positive impact it’s made on my life. I’m very grateful for my readers, and to everyone who has been listening to my voice for the past 37 weeks and more to come! I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower
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Hey everyone! Welcome back to my blog! I hope you all enjoyed my post last week. Some parts of it were blunt, and may have made some people uncomfortable, but I don’t care. The truth isn’t always kind, and that’s life sometimes. Don’t lead anyone on, and NEVER delay telling someone the truth! Even if it may hurt them. Being misled for 3 years hurts even more. (DISCLAIMER- When I say “leading anyone on”, I do not mean romantically. You neurotypicals tend to think that’s ONLY what that means so I might as well add the disclaimer).
So for this weeks post, I will be posting a similar post to last week, except I will be posting about some things I’ve learned about autism since I’ve made this blog. Since I live the life, I’ve always considered myself an autism expert, but now I have even more knowledge and I am now even more of an expert! I’ve learned an insane amount of facts about autism this past year. It’s actually so crazy. I won’t be able to write about everything I’ve learned about autism in this post, so let me know if you want me to make a part 2! Take a look below at some of the many things I’ve learned about autism since I started this blog. “I learned all about ableism. (week 15 bonus post)”. Before I made this blog, I had no idea what ableism was. I made it a bonus post for week 15 because I had already made my blog schedule for the next several weeks and before I was educated on ableism, I didn’t realize how important ableism is, so I squeezed it in. The dictionary definition of ableism is “discrimination in favor of able-bodied people”. Now that I know what ableism is, I throw this word around like it’s confetti. I witness so much ableism on a daily basis, and it’s so sad. Most people aren’t intentionally being ableist, but a huge fuck you to the ones who are (I’m mostly talking about you, Sia). “The puzzle piece is a bad way to represent us (week 15)”. For my whole life, I’ve used the blue puzzle piece, or the red, yellow, and blue puzzle piece ribbon to represent autism. I liked how there was a symbol to represent us, like other things had symbols. Little did I know, it’s a big ableist scam. The original autism puzzle piece was used and founded by National Autistic Society (NAS) in the UK in 1963. The puzzle piece featured a kid crying inside a puzzle piece to represent autism as a “puzzling mystery” only found in children, like autism magically disappears when you’re an adult. I was also fooled by Autism Speaks taking over the puzzle piece and making it blue. They made it blue to represent autism in boys since autism is a “boys disease” like HELLO??? Look at me, and all the other girls with autism out there! We exist too! “Most people with autism prefer identity first over person first language (weeks 6, 8, and 33)”. My senior year of high school, my neurotypical autism “professionals” taught me about this, and truthfully this is the only autism related thing they taught me that I actually agree with. I clung onto this idea ever since because I want to be known as a person, before any labels I may have. However, I did not realize identity first language was the preference in the community. It came at a shock to me when I realized this because I thought, “wouldn’t you want to be known as a person first?” The reasoning behind the identity first preference makes sense to me now, but I’m still a person first language supporter. Identity first language recognizes their identity, and unlike most autistic people/people with autism, I don’t think autism makes up ALL of who I am. It does make up a lot of me, but there’s so many things that are apart of my life. I’ve gotten hate from other autistic people/people with autism for my preference and it hurts. I wish every autistic person/person with autism could support eachother and differing preferences, but some people are too stuck in their ways to do that, which is so unfortunate. There’s SO much more things I’ve learned about autism, but if you may have noticed, I always keep my posts at 3 points. I still love my blog so much, but all the posts I had planned since the summer are gone now, so my posts lately will be last minute ideas for the most part. Thank you so so much for reading and I’ll see you next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! This weeks topic is something I’m excited to write about because it’s all about me.... hehe. I will be writing about some things I’ve learned about myself since I made this blog, and next week I’ll be writing about some things I’ve learned about autism since I’ve made this blog. In order to write some of my posts, I have to get in touch with my inner feelings that I’ve pushed to the side for my whole life. In fact, some I didn’t even know I had, because I got THAT MUCH in touch with myself, and my reality. It’s been hard at times, but it’s so worth it in the end. Creating Embracing my Superpower is one of the best things I’ve ever done. Writing is truly my happy place, and I love that I have a platform to post it on. Even though it’s small. I don’t want to make this post too lengthy so I’ll only be writing about some things I’ve learned about myself since I’ve made this blog. Mostly about my grade school life. Grade school was a big part of my life as you can tell lol.
*”Sophomore year wasn’t actually that great”. In the very beginning of my blog, I wrote about how sophomore year was my favorite year of high school, (week 4, which has been deleted, and week 7, which is still up). The week 4 post has been deleted because of this realization. I actually deleted it a few months ago, but I’m finally ready to speak out on that. The person I wrote about for the now deleted week 4, (her name will not be listed for privacy reasons), turned out to be a toxic person in my life in the long run. At the time, she wasn’t, but ever since sophomore year ended, she’s been nothing but a toxic mess. She brainwashed me for 3 years into thinking so many great things that ended up not being true. I was lied to that whole time, and overall, the situation was handled poorly. I did some bad things too, but I didn’t play the victim like she did. I owned up to all my shit. She was actually the one who ended up cutting contact with me, and I’m glad she did because I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. However, the weight, and the heartache of the trauma she caused me will always be there. Now on to some positivity, the part 2 post I wrote about this (week 7) is still up. I was debating on deleting that too when I deleted the other one since only half of the parts would be there, but I decided not to. I chose not to delete that post because the other person I wrote about did nothing wrong, and has nothing to do with how I feel about the other person. Most importantly, this person still remains a positive person in my life, and she deserves the recognition from me. She is overall an amazing person, and we still talk pretty much everyday. She was there for me for my entire high school career and I couldn’t be more thankful for her! I love her and miss her soooooooo much! (Her name will not be listed due to privacy reasons). Overall, when I look back at sophomore year, I cringe so much. I was involved in so much unnecessary, petty, girl drama, and I feel bad about it now. But I will give myself props for having really good fashion sense, and being really photogenic that year. Every time I look back at old pics, I compliment my outfits in my head, and I feel remorseful because I really should’ve posted them on Instagram because of how cute I looked lol. *”The bullying in 6th grade truly did affect me long term”. As you can tell, this is something that’s been in the back of my brain for SO LONG!! It took me 7 years to realize this. When I wrote about my school years, I had to really dive in deep into the back of my brain to fish some of the memories out that have been buried in the back. When I entered 7th grade, I didn’t really think about the things people said and did to me in the front of my mind, but I for sure did in the back because I completely changed the way I acted, dressed, and looked. I gained so many friends, and some of them were people who used to not like me, and were rude to me. I look back now and think trauma was the main cause of my change and starting to mask A LOT more (week 19). Although, I don’t regret doing that because I was treated a lot better. *”My true passion is writing”. This one is by far the most important thing, and the best thing I’ve realized about myself throughout this whole process. I’ve always loved to write in my free time, but I never really thought about it as a career until I made this blog. For years, I wanted to be a vet tech. I love animals so so so much, but when it comes to a career, writing is what I want to do. I’m so so so so freaking excited to see where else my blog takes me, as it has already taken me to places I’ve never been when it comes to my autism activist, and advocate career behind the scenes! Thank you all so much for tuning in for this weeks post. I’ll see you all next week! *Disclaimer- If some of this post (mainly the first part) offends you, oh well. The truth isn’t always kind.* Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Hey everyone! Welcome back to my blog! So um I’m in a weird situation right now because I have no non autism posts saved for you guys. All of the ones I’ve had saved since July that I want to post are gone, so I’ll be posting some autism related posts until I can come up with some entertaining non autism stuff to write about. If you have any suggestions, please please please please let me know. I’m so desperate lol.
Anyways, this weeks post will be about Applied Behavior Analysis Therapy (ABA). ABA is autism’s most common and most well known therapy. However, most of you may not know that ABA is VERY frowned upon in the autistic community. I never did ABA, so this post isn’t going to be about my story, since I don’t have one, but I’m sure you can find stories online. The Wikipedia definition of ABA is “Applied Behavior Analysis, also called behavioral engineering, is a scientific technique concerned with applying empirical approaches based upon the principles of respondent and operant conditioning to change behavior of social significance”. A blogger named A Stout (I’ll put the link of her blog at the bottom of the post, along with the other websites I’ll be using) makes such a good point in her post asking the million dollar question of how we know that a therapy is engaging in bad techniques. Ask yourself “Would I feel good, okay, or comfortable doing this with a neurotypical (NT) child?” “If the answer is no, there is a big problem with the treatment, whether it’s ABA or something else. Because ultimately, kids with autism are just that: kids. They may think or act a little differently from other children, but a neurological difference does not merit unacceptable or harmful treatment; unacceptable treatment is unacceptable treatment, and abuse masquerading as therapy is still abuse. Period”. YES YES YES OMG SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE NEUROTYPICAL ABLEISTS IN THE BACK!!!!! I love this quote so much. This is one of the reasons why I support person first language over identity first language because at the end of the day, we are people, regardless of what our identity is. We should be treated as such. Now we’re onto the reasons some adults with autism don’t like ABA. A lot say it was traumatizing for them. One of those reasons includes being forced to perform tasks that make you uncomfortable. Sometimes these tasks can be simple, but a lot of the times they aren’t. ABA therapists think having an individual with autism engage in these behaviors will desensitize the child to that thing. (Newsflash- it doesn’t). The only way that could happen is if autism can magically disappear. A lot of ableists are trying to seek a cure for autism (week 15 bonus post). Some people may not think this is too bad, but if you force it then it is. If the child with autism says no, don’t force them into doing it. It gets them stressed and they may start to stim (week 31) to cope with the situations. To make matters worse, they’re supposed to do these dreadful acts while they’re smiling. They’re not allowed to complain or show signs of discomfort. Even though children without autism are made to do tasks they are uncomfortable with, the double standards of a child with autism and a child without autism are astronomical. If a child without autism doesn’t want to do something that makes them show signs of stress, neurotypicals usually won’t make them do it, or let them have a chance to calm down before doing it, but when it comes to a child with autism, they’re being forced to do these behaviors to learn to grow out of them. (NEWSFLASH- that’s not how shit works). I’ve been sensitive to wearing leggings my whole life. They’ve always itched my legs, and gave me the creepy crawlies. I have worn leggings before since they’re trendy and I wanted to give them a try, but no matter how many times I wore them, the feeling of discomfort never went away. If I did do ABA, I probably would still be sensitive to leggings and everything else I’m sensitive to. There’s no denying that people with autism have “unusual” comfort behaviors in public. Some ABA therapies will punish a child with autism for engaging in these behaviors so they can engage in a “normal” behavior instead. Rewards are a big part of ABA. The controversy of rewards are the rewards they’re using. ABA therapists tend to use the things the child with autism loves the most, which become reinforcers and for therapists only. I’ve noticed this happen in school sometimes. Not ABA, but students getting their favorite things for rewards only. I’ve noticed that they stopped doing that eventually, which is good. This article also states that not all ABA is terrible, but I still don’t think ABA is good idea, and I can speak on behalf of all of us autism activists. Not a single autism activist I’ve seen on Tik Tok and Instagram supports ABA, so please listen to us. If you’re a parent of a child with autism and you want to do ABA, please do VERY careful research on what therapist to use, so your child won’t be traumatized as an adult with autism. Or better yet, or just find a different therapy to use. I’m attaching the article at the bottom of this post so you guys can see the stuff I did not cover. I’m also attaching other resources you can check out to learn more about the controversy of ABA. Thank you so much for reading, and I’ll see you all next week! *DISCLAIMER- If you look up “ABA therapy” on Tik Tok, you’ll find a lot of videos of individuals with autism sharing their traumatic experiences with ABA. I would post some links, but I don’t want to share them without their permission since a lot of them aren’t from famous Tik Tok users like Paige Layle*. Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://blog.theautismsite.greatergood.com/aba-therapy-controversy/ (the article I used) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/controversy-autisms-common-therapy/amp https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/controversy-autisms-common-therapy/amp |
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