20!! Yesterday was my 20th birthday. Thank you everyone so much for all the birthday wishes! I had a great birthday!
Hi everyone! Welcome back to my blog, and if you’re new here, then welcome! I hope you enjoyed hearing my 7th grade journey two weeks ago. This is my 3rd and final part of my middle school series. 8th grade! In my 6th grade post, I mentioned that middle school is a rough time for most people, but in these posts, I really wanted to try my best to focus on the positives in middle school and show you that middle school can still be fun. However, my post from 6th grade a few weeks ago wasn’t really too positive. Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything positive since 6th grade was awful. But now we’re moving on from 6th and 7th grade and now you’re going to read about my 8th grade year. I hope you enjoy!! I went to a K-8 school for middle school, and we were truly the top dogs!! (Well in this case hawks since that was our school mascot). It felt good being the oldest out of all 9 grades in the school. Sometimes I felt like I was on top of the world, and I wondered if people were intimidated by me just because I was an 8th grader. I was intimidated by the 8th graders in 6th and 7th grade, so I always wondered if the feelings were the same. 8th grade was also a very successful year for me socially. I didn’t hangout with as many people as I did in 7th grade, because I found a friend group that just got me. They made me so happy, and we would hangout almost every weekend. Most of my favorite memories in middle school were with them. Middle school is the age where kids can be really mean at times, and lets just say I wasn’t the best behaved in class sometimes. I would get in trouble sometimes, and it was mostly because I was always talking. In 7th grade, I would get in trouble for talking too (week 18), but that was just from one teacher, but in 8th grade it happened from more than one teacher. I was just so sick of middle school, and just wanted to get out of there, so I was antsy. There was a teacher I had in middle school for all 3 years, and I remember her telling me “you’ve changed” and she did not mean in a good way. She meant because the fact that I kissed every teachers ass and was always behaving in 6th grade, but in 8th grade, even more of my sassy side came out, and all I cared about was hanging out with my friends in class. The people who know me really well are probably thinking, “I’m not surprised, this is so Kailey”, but others are like “this is not the person I thought she was”. (Again, I stated this in my 7th grade post as well. Week 18) Although I had a lot of fun in 8th grade, I was also going through an identity crisis, which is probably why I behaved so obnoxiously sometimes. As some of you may know, I’ve been struggling with hair pulling for the past 6 years, and this was towards the beginning of my journey, so I wasn’t confident enough to wear my natural hair in public yet. I pulled 95% of my hair out, and I wasn’t confident to wear short hair in public at the time so I wore a wig. I wore the wig because I wanted to have long hair, but deep down, I didn’t feel like myself. It wasn’t my hair, and sometimes people wouldn’t recognize me because I looked so different. It didn’t make me feel good, but obviously it wasn’t intentional. One of my favorite memories from 8th grade is when we got to go to Cedar Point. Even though it was so windy that day!! Due to the wind, a lot of the good rides were closed, but the ones that were open were a lot of fun. I’ve always loved going on fun field trips like that. We also went to the pool at the end of the year for winning spirit week so that was fun. We also won in 6th grade, so we got to go two years in a row! (Week 16). I don’t remember if we did any other fun field trips. (If anyone who’s reading this remembers, please let me know lol). Those field trips were fun, but something did top those! You’re probably thinking, what on earth can top field trips?! Well, you’re going to find out! By far the BEST thing that came out of my 8th grade experience was I became really close with one of my teachers and we still keep in touch regularly today. She taught me to play euchre on the pool field trip! I will not be revealing the name for privacy reasons, but you know who you are! ;) So this completes my summary of middle school. It was an interesting three years, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Even 6th grade. Surprising I know. But I helped me grow into the person I am today. I’ll see you all next week. As always, thanks for tuning in! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower
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*DISCLAIMER- This post is about autism, not COVID*
Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog. I always get so excited to write, and post things since I love to write. Especially about topics I'm passionate about. This weeks autism related topic is masking. And let me tell you, I am a pro at this. If there was a trophy for masking, I would get first place for sure. I'm really excited to be writing about this topic because since I experience this so much, I can use a lot of my own opinions, but I'm also going to be using my resources to help me as well. I hope you enjoyed my autism in girls post three weeks ago, but this one I'm going to make specifically about masking, so you can understand what it is, and how hard it is to perform on a daily basis. So let's get started! I consider masking an art. Why? Because you're basically acting, and acting is considered an art. The term masking is normally attached to women on the spectrum, rather than men. Masking is "artificially 'performing' social behavior that is deemed to be more 'neurotypical' or hiding behavior that might be viewed as socially unacceptable". The main motivation for us to mask is fitting in, and having better social connections with people who don't have autism. Women with autism usually spend their whole lives masking, including their childhood. This is why a lot of girls on the spectrum aren't diagnosed until their teen years, or later for that matter! (Week 17). Unlike me, I was diagnosed when I was three! There are lots of pros to masking. Well actually, there's one, but there's many subcategories within this pro. The pro is fitting in, of course. You have a normal social life, and lots of friends. I have had lots of typical teenager experiences in life that a lot of people with autism haven't had. Not all girls with autism mask, though. But I do, and it works. You have to start masking at an early age, or else it's pointless to even start. I didn't know what I was doing is called masking until I already graduated high school. But it makes a lot of sense. People who know me, know that I'm very aware of social cues, and lots of current events in this world. Not only that, I am also not oblivious to the bullying. There have been times where I've seen people with autism getting bullied, and people do it because they think it's funny since they aren't aware of what these things mean. Most of the time, people with autism understand what you're saying, which makes the bullies even more stupid than they actually are. Sometimes because of my autism, I misread situations, but my gut always tells me that situations like these are bullying. I was even told by my high school social worker (who is also my neighbor) recently that my autism doesn't really lead me into the wrong direction anymore when it comes to things like that, and I was spot on. I hate when people treat my peers this way. I know that no one would ever say that type of stuff to me, because they know I'm aware of what it all means, and if I ever do receive that stuff in the future, I mask my emotions. I don't let people see me sweat. They want the reaction, since people with autism tend to have bigger reactions. Masking has made my life so much better, and I genuinely enjoy doing it, but there is cons for masking. Sometimes one who masks can experience exhaustion, and challenging stereotypes made towards them, which can be hard to receive at times, because no one understands how hard all of us maskers worked to get to where we are. You may think it's a compliment, but it isn't. Please be aware of that. Anyone else would tell you the same thing. Why is it exhausting you ask? Well, because women who mask have to pick up on social cues, such as making eye contact, joking around, and copying facial expressions, and social skills from people without autism around them. Masking requires so much thinking to the point where it makes you more tired, and increases stress level due to anxiety and depression. Also, sometimes, identity development is in jeopardy when you engage in masking behaviors. You spend so much time "studying" what others are doing socially, and you can't really focus on yourself very often. It took me a long time to find my identity. Well, I'm still working on it. But I'm at the point in my life now where I'm comfortable writing things about autism, and posting them to the public to teach other people about it. I wouldn't have been comfortable with that in the past. Especially in middle school, when masking is a must. I wanted to make a specific post for masking because girls with autism are the only ones who understand this concept (week 17), and I want people to be aware that this is much harder than it looks. To everyone who read this, thank you. You all mean a lot to me, and I hope you will come back next week to read about my life as an 8th grader! This is also my last post as a 19 year old, and being a teenager. THAT IS CRAZY!!!!! Here is a link if you want to learn more about masking :) Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.tiimoapp.com/blog/art-of-masking-women-with-autism/ Hey everyone! Welcome back to my blog! I didn’t post last week, so it’s been a minute! Long time no see! I was debating whether or not I should post on Election Day, and I think I made the right choice for waiting a week because Election Day is such a crazy day. Everyone is filled with so many emotions. Personally for me, I was so stressed out. I couldn’t fall asleep on Monday or Tuesday night. I couldn’t really fully focus on anything until the President was announced. Also, I probably wouldn’t have much of an audience that day since everyone is busy with Election Day related stuff. If you were eligible to vote, I’m hoping you did. This was the first presidential election I voted in. I’m not going to talk much more about this since I don’t want my blog to be a political place, even though my personal social media can be at times. But most of you know where I stand with politics already. I’m just going to say- be kind to one another, it’s good for your health!
I hope you enjoyed hearing about my 6th grade year three weeks ago. It was hard for me to write, since I hate thinking about that tough time, but it's apart of my life, and I can't just ignore it like it never happened. For the second part of my middle school post, I will be talking about 7th grade. I hope you enjoy!! I changed a lot in 7th grade. I thought about the way I acted in 6th grade, and the way people treated me, so I completely changed my appearance and the way I acted. I started wearing clothes that were more "trendy" and I got rid of all my sweatpants with sparkles on them. I stopped kissing all my teachers asses, and I didn't make them handmade gifts. Lots of people started to notice that I wasn't so weird after all and started to hangout with me. I had so many friends in 7th grade, and my social life was amazing. That is probably the grade that my social life was the most successful. Some people who I became really close with would tell me how much they didn't like me in 6th grade, which I would always laugh along with them, since I didn't like myself in 6th grade either, but deep down, I was always a little hurt. Even though I spent pretty much my entire 7th grade year making fun of my 6th grade self, but it's different when other people say it, versus when you say it. 7th grade was the year for bar/bat mitzvahs. I went to so many of them, and I got to be social on the weekends. I always had so much fun! On the Monday after, we would always wear the apparel from the bar/bat mitzvah that weekend. There was always a part of me that felt a little guilty about it because I felt bad for those who weren't invited, but I really wanted to fit in with my peers, so I did it anyway. Because I ended up fitting in with my peers so well in 7th grade, the bullying went away, and people in my grade treated me like a normal teenager instead of an outcast. I felt an acted like a completely different person than I was the year before. More of my sassy side came out. I've never been afraid to speak my mind, but in 7th grade, I was much more vocal with my feelings. I started getting in trouble in class. I have a loud voice, so I was always heard, and would get sent in the hallway. I only got in trouble from one specific teacher. Let's just say her name is Mrs. Miller for this post. (Again, changing the name for privacy reasons). We butted heads a lot, but you aren't meant to get along with everybody, and that's ok! Mrs. Miller eventually changed our seats, but in middle school, I was the type of person who talked with everyone, so moving my seat didn't help. People who know me well are probably thinking "I'm not surprised, this is so Kailey" and others are like "this is not the person I thought she was”. I wasn't the only one who got in trouble in Mrs. Miller's class. There was another kid who got in trouble too. Him and I were the shit stirrers in the class. We mostly talked amongst each other, but he was quiet, and I was loud, so of course I got in more trouble than he did. Towards the end of the school year, he got in trouble for telling Mrs. Miller to shut up, and I was out of the room for it! Ugh I remember being so bummed that I wasn't there because it was refreshing to see someone get in trouble from her who wasn't me lol. One of my favorite memories from 7th grade is when we got to go on a trip which was called Bay Sails. We got to spend the whole day on a lake (I forgot what it's called so someone please remind me lol) on a boat. It was for science, but I probably botched on the whole worksheet tbh. I got a little queasy, but luckily I didn't throw up. If I did, I wouldn't be listing this as one of my favorite memories! We got to go to a cool candy store afterwords, which motivated everyone to be on their best behavior. So yeah, this post is kinda crazy, and the total opposite from 6th grade, but that tells you that those two years for me were the total opposite! Tune in next week for masking. Thanks for reading! *Disclaimer- Masking has nothing to do with COVID-19* Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower |
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