Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For my post this week, I will be collaborating with one of my best friends, Riley. Riley is also on the autism spectrum. She is an autism activist and advocate like me, so I’m so thrilled to be working with her!
Our post is about autism in girls (throwing it way back to week 17). We will be giving you 2 different perspectives on what it’s like to be an autistic girl/girl with autism. Most girls don’t get diagnosed until much later in life. Unlike me, I was diagnosed at 3 years old, so I can’t provide you a “typical” autism in girls post, so Riley is helping me! I will be talking about the pros, and cons of being diagnosed at young age, and Riley will be talking about the pros and cons of being diagnosed later in life, and how her life has changed since she was diagnosed. We’re so excited to share this with you guys! Kailey’s part- Like with everything in life, there’s the good and the bad sides. Including this. This is simply my opinion. Unlike most girls who have autism/are autistic, I was diagnosed with autism at a young age (week 17), I was 3 years old. I’ve been told by many girls with autism/who are autistic who were diagnosed at a later age, and autism “professionals” that I’m lucky to have been diagnosed at a young age, but there are some bad things to it, but there’s also some good things to it. Here’s some pros of being diagnosed at a young age..... “You get the help you need ASAP!” This is such a big pro when it comes to receiving a diagnosis at a young age. If I didn’t get the help I needed when I was younger, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Who knows if I’d be writing this blog?! I received lots of early intervention growing up like speech therapy, and OT. I was also in some social groups when I was younger to help improve my social skills. Also, people knew why I had my hard times, and it wasn’t a mystery my whole life like it was for girls who got diagnosed later in life. “Bullying is less frequent”. This may not be true for others, but it is for me. Although I did get bullied (mostly in 6th grade. Week 16), I feel like it would’ve occurred more often if I didn’t have a diagnosis at an early age. People I went to school with know I have autism, so they know the reasoning behind my “unusual” behaviors. If the didn’t know the reasons, I probably would’ve been bullied more tbh. There’s lots more pros to being diagnosed at an early age, but I’m going to leave it at those two for now, so I can save room for the cons. Like I said above, people have said to me that I’m lucky that I was diagnosed so early, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always feel that way. Here are some cons at being diagnosed at an early age..... “Dealing with challenging stereotypes your whole life”. By far one of the most challenging things of autism is receiving false stereotypes from people. Although, I’m still living my best life! It’s just hard to receive at times. People may think and feel things about me just because I’m autistic/have autism. I hate when people assume things about me, or put me on a pedestal. Like I’ve said, autism is a spectrum. (Majorly throwing it back to week 10). Not everyone is going to show the same traits. Like for example, I’m really bad when it comes to perseverating (week 23), but the autistic person/person with autism standing next to me may not have difficulty with that. It all depends on who we are! The bonus about being diagnosed at a later age is not having to deal with these stereotypes as a child, or even as a teenager if you’re diagnosed that late. Some girls don’t get diagnosed until they’re in their 70’s! “You’ve always been overlooked”. A lot of NT’s look over our strengths because all they focus on is fixing, and helping us with our weaknesses it seems like. So all of the good things about us are overlooked. Being diagnosed at a later age means that you’re not overlooked your whole life, and your strengths are seen, and embraced by others much sooner than someone who is diagnosed at an early age because with being diagnosed at an early age, you’d know our strengths are autism related, but if you’re not diagnosed at an early age, you’re known to be gifted, and unique. I hope you guys enjoyed my part about the pros and cons of being diagnosed at a young age. Here’s Riley’s part of the pros and cons of being diagnosed later in life. Riley’s part- Pros “My intelligence was never underestimated” Most of my autistic friends who were diagnosed at a younger age complain about adults talking down to them and infantilizing them just because they had autism. Because I wasn’t labeled as autistic but was extremely gifted, I was pushed by my teachers to reach my full potential and was given the tools to learn anything I wanted. I was lucky to not have to experience someone assuming incompetence just because I was autistic. “It’s easier to blend in” Throughout my school years, I was constantly making friends and losing them because I was making “social mistakes” and not even realizing it. But, it’s much easier for peers to forget about these social faux pas when there isn’t something to attribute them to like a disability. It did mean more bullying (which I’ll talk more about next) but it was also much easier to just find a new group of friends who hadn’t known all the previous mistakes and try to learn how to blend in more and more. Cons “Being told to be yourself and then being bullied for finally not copying NTs” “Just be yourself” is one of my most hated phrases because while in theory it’s a good idea, in reality, it can get you into lots of social trouble. I’ve been an active people watcher my whole life. I studied my peers’ mannerisms, speech patterns and phrases, body language, etc., and then I would try out different “masks” of other peers to see which were the most well received. I would then be this pretend person, make friends, and then start to get tired of pretending. And at this point my parents would say “Just be yourself! There’s only one Riley!” and I would let loose and be naturally myself… Only to find that my friends didn’t like the actual Riley. My real self was considered weird and annoying and spazzy. I went through so much heartache this way because it just kept reinforcing that my true self wasn’t something people wanted to be friends with in my experience. It’s sad, but I think I would have been better off not being told to be myself, at least in school. Blending in and making small social mistakes that can be easily forgotten would have been easier than all of the bullying that came from the simple act of being myself. “Grieving how differently my school experience could have gone” I couldn’t decide how to title this con to be honest. My experience with the autism community growing up filled me with so much internalized ableism. Because my brother is autistic and was diagnosed at 18 months, I was around kids with autism all the time. But all my child brain really knew was 1. My brother was “special” and I was “normal” and 2. I should not act like him or his classmates. Even if the way they stimmed felt good to me (week 31), even if all their fidgets and bouncy chairs were helpful to focus, I thought I couldn’t be like autistic people I knew because I wasn’t autistic myself. And that brings me to the grieving part. If I had been diagnosed early, I would never have such internalized shame about how my brain naturally is. I could have had deeper friendships with peers who actually thinked and socialized in ways I liked, and I could have spent way less time trying to fit in with people who didn’t even like me. I have always been an advocate for my brother, and I think if I was diagnosed young, I would have been a strong self-advocate, too. I know it’s not very productive to just think about what-ifs, but this is definitely the biggest con of being diagnosed at 20. My childhood just could have been so different, and I could be drastically different today if I had a less traumatic school experience. So that’s it for this post. I’m so so so so happy that I got to do a collab with my ND best friend. I hope to do more stuff like this in the future, and I hope you liked this post. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! *DISCLAIMER- For next weeks post, I will be posting it on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. You’ll see why when I post it. After that, we will go back to Tuesday’s like normal*. 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Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For the 3rd, and final part of my trilogy, I will be writing about the 3rd camp I went to. This was the camp I thrived at. I went for 4 summers, until it closed for good. This is the most successful place of all, so I’m reallyyyyyyy excited to write about this one. 3rd times a charm!
I still have very fond memories of this camp, but also some bad ones because I wasn’t too well behaved my first summer, and I still feel bad about it. The 2nd year I wasn’t too well behaved either, but not as bad as last summer. Summers 2015 and 2016 were the years I had the best camp times of my life, and I made some amazing friends. Although I don’t talk to them very much anymore, I’ll always have a special place in my heart for them. 2013 summer: Before I start, I’d also like to state that this camp was welcoming to people with autism/autistic people. Not as much as camp 2, but regardless of my typical ASD burnout meltdowns, I was able to go back. Another huge thank you from me for being inclusive towards us. This was my first year at this camp. I was excited but also nervous. I knew one person who was going to be in my cabin, but I didn’t know anyone else. This summer was an interesting one because it was the summer right after 6th grade, and 6th grade was the year I got picked on by my classmates (week 16), so I wasn’t in the best place, so I had way more ASD burnout tantrums. Overall, my bunk mates were very nice to me, but I was still misunderstood like always. I cried a lot, which annoyed everyone in my cabin. I feel bad about it because I would’ve been much more successful in the social department at camp if I didn’t cry about literally everything, and act out of character. This camp I went to is very small. There’s only 8 cabins in the whole camp, so everyone knows everyone, and everything about them. Truths and rumors spread at that camper faster than covid. So people outside of my cabin knew I acted out of character, and I don’t think they liked me too much either. I made friends this summer, but it was still hard for me to do so because of my differences. I don’t remember too much about this summer, other than the fact that 2 of my former counselors seem to still be holding a grudge against me for something that happened 8 years ago…… I was 12 for goodness sake. You block me on social media, but no other former campers? Grow up already!!!! I had so much fun this summer, but as I reflect on it now, it was a hot mess. Not compared to anonymous summer camp #1, however. I don’t think it can get much worse than that. Despite my behavior, I was allowed back at this camp. I love when camps are inclusive towards us. 2014 summer: This summer, my age group was eligible to go on a trip, but I wasn’t allowed to go because of my behavior last summer which I was really sad about, so once I got there, everyone had all these memories from trip I didn’t understand. We also were in the same cabin the girls a year older than us, so I had to meet new people again. Well technically, I met them the previous summer, but I didn’t have the best reputation around camp since I was misunderstood so a lot of them didn’t like me, and when I was in their cabin, a lot of them were fake nice to me. My oblivious self who doesn’t understand “social hints” didn’t understand that at first, but I do now, and it hurts a lot. There was even a girl in my cabin who didn’t like me until I told her I have autism. She finally realized why I cried all the time about “stupid shit”. I know that now because the following summer we became good friends, and she told me, but it still hurt to hear. I know in these first 2 summers, it sounds like I had a terrible time, but I didn’t. This is just me reflecting on it, and what I think of it now. Even when I went to anonymous summer camp #1 (week 41), I still had fun in the moment. Now that is pure stupidity of my 8 and 11 year old self! One of my favorite parts of that summer was the last night of camp before we did paper plate awards. For those of you who don’t know what paper plate awards are, paper plate awards are obviously on paper plates. Every camper gets an award for the summer, and usually it relates to our personalities or some sort of inside joke throughout the cabin. That summer, I got the most likely to be Insta famous award. Before then, we all did mock elections in our cabin asking questions like “most likely to fall off the tube while tubing”, “dynamic duo”, etc. That was the night I felt like I connected with everyone the most. Even though we were all sad for leaving camp, it was an amazing way to end the summer. 2015 summer: This summer, I walked into camp with a completely different attitude. Again, my age group went on a trip, but I wasn’t allowed to go because of my behavior the previous summer. But I felt determined to win the camp directors over, and for them to allow me to go on a trip! I made myself that promise. This summer, we were the older girls in our cabin. We bunked with the girls a year younger than us. I was friendly with them at camp the 2 previous summers, so I was excited to bunk with some of them. Our big group was split into 2 cabins, so I wasn’t able to live with all of them, but we still spent a lot of time together. I fulfilled my promise this summer, not only to the staff, but to my bunk mates as well. Some of them even told me personally how much I’ve changed and matured, and they felt closer with me. Including the girl I wrote about in the 2014 paragraph. People actually wanted to spend time with me. I just wish I was like that the whole time because I would’ve been closer with people. They were already all so close, so I was still the odd one out, but they actually considered me their friend, and wanted me around. Even my counselors told me how much I’ve grown and matured. That summer was sooooooo fucking fun, and when I look back at it, I do nothing but smile. I had such an amazing time. A few weeks after camp ended, one of the girls in my cabin who lives out of town was coming in to visit. So my bunk mates in my grade (going into 9th at the time) in my cabin all planned a sleepover when she was coming to visit. And I was invited??!! How about that for a shocker lol…. (Not trying to sound passive, but I’ve been excluded from things my whole life. Can’t deny that truth). Even though I was an add on, it still felt great to be invited because obviously someone mentioned my name, and mentioned inviting me. I think it was because of how much I matured that summer, that they actually wanted me around. That sleepover was the night before my sisters birthday, and usually we all go out as a family to celebrate, so I felt very, very torn. Call me an asshole, but I chose to go to the sleepover over celebrating her birthday. It just felt so good that I was included, and I didn’t want to miss this opportunity. Also, who knew when my friend from out of town would be here next??!! I left early the next morning, but being able to go and hangout with them was so much fun. I will never forget that night. 2016 summer: Low and behold, I actually got to go on a trip this summer! Yay! However, my age group was going on a western trip with lots of hiking, and since this is my first trip, I was moved down to the age group below me, so I went into camp nervous. It was hard to integrate with them because they were all so so so close, but I managed. I became friends with them, but not best friends. I also hungout with them outside of camp a few times after camp too. We went on this amazing trip to Wisconsin, Indiana and, Minnesota. We spent the first and last night in Michigan. The in between was all over Wisconsin. We did lots of things including going to the cheese store, white water rafting, going to a water park, and we even went to The Mall of America in Minnesota! I bought a book, and 3 shirts. We didn’t even get through the whole mall and we were there for 4 hours. It really is the biggest mall you’ll ever see! On the last day, we went to the Indiana Dunes and did some bonding activities! The view was beautiful! I was also able to spend time on camp grounds as well. That was all so fun too, but the trip really stuck out to me. It was such an amazing experience, and I had so much fun. I loved hanging out with my camp friends in the summer, but I really wanted to go home earlier than I intended to stay. I was going to stay the whole summer, and I reserved my summer for camp, so I didn’t sign up for anything else. I loved camp that summer, but I felt like it was my time to come home. I came home for 2 reasons. One of them being I really missed my friends from home. Overall, I felt like they’d make me happier, and not feel as excluded, so I wanted to spend my time with them. Secondly, my parents were going through a divorce, and both lived in the same house at the time. Ella was at camp, and I did not want them to be alone in the house for so long. They were alone for a week, but it would’ve been 3 weeks if I stayed. But as soon as I left, I regretted it. I was so camp sick, and seeing pictures of all the fun going on without me was really hard. I especially now wish I stayed. (Read below to find out why). But little did I know, leaving camp that day would be the last day I’d ever be a camper there. I figured I’d be going back next summer, but sadly that didn’t happen. Due to financial reasons, this camp shut down for good. I found out in the middle of the school day, and I cried so hard. I finally found a camp that I loved, and it shuts down. Everyone signed up for camp that summer got to go to a summer camp in Canada. I went, but I didn’t stay long since I didn’t like it very much. I’m not gonna make a post about that since I was only there for 2 weeks, and I really want this trilogy to be a happy ending. Honestly, I hate to admit this, but I’m finishing this post 2 days before it’s posted. It’s May 16th as I finish this up. I kept putting this post to the side because it makes me tear up thinking about it because of how much I miss it. Thank you all so so much for reading, and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks post, I will be talking about the meaning of the r-slur and how it feels to be called this. I wrote very briefly about the harm of the r-slur 2 weeks ago, but this post will be much more in depth. This is 2021, everyone should know why the r-slur is never ok to use, but we still have some ignorant ableists who continue to use the word like it’s nothing. I know many NT’s who despise the r-slur, and I’ve heard some even say something to whoever used the word. But for people with disabilities/disabled people, it hits home. It feels like a knife is stabbing your heart. I haven’t been called this word nearly as much as I know other people have, but even those couple times felt so shitty, and I hate that disabled people/people with disabilities have to go through that pain all the time.
The R-slur compares intellectual disabilities to making someone stupid or dumb. Not only that, the r-slur also is used to describe negative things. I’ve heard people say “ugh that’s so r******d”, or stuff along those lines if they don’t like something they have to do, so it’s not just referring to people. This word is not only offensive, but also lives a double life. The dictionary term of the r-slur is “delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment”. Originally, this term was introduced to be a replacement for more offensive terms, which clearly did not work. At first, it was a neutral term, by the American Association on Mental R*********n in 1961, and was taken over by the American Psychiatric Organization (APA) in their “manual” for disabilities. As time went on, like I stated above, the slur was used as a synonym for the words “stupid”, or “dumb”, or even “idiot” too! Regardless if the person was aiming their use of the r-slur at disabled people/people with disabilities, it’s still offensive, and completely disrespectful. In 2010, former President Barack Obama signed “Rosa’s Law” “which changed “mental r*********n” to “intellectual disability”. Rosa is a girl who has Down syndrome. As of September 2020, over 820,000 people all over the world have signed petitions and banners online to end the use of the r-slur which I think is amazing! However, we all know that’s not going to work, unfortunately. So that’s about it for this post. There’s still so much about this word, so I’m going to leave some resources for you guys to look at if you’re interested in learning more about this. I also used these to help me write this post, since I didn’t know too much about it at first. I knew about the different meaning of it back in the day, but that’s about it. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you all next week! https://www.spreadtheword.global/resource-archive/r-word-effects https://www.verywellfamily.com/what-is-the-r-word-3105651 https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur https://www.jointherevolution.org/50-game-changers/rosas-law Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks post I’ll be writing about the 2nd camp I went to. I decided to not give out any of the names of the camps because I’m starting to get a bigger audience, which is including people I don’t know, so I don’t want to disclose too much personal information, (like the state I live, and where I used to go to school and camp anymore).
Unlike anonymous summer camp 1, I still have very fond memories at this camp, so I’m excited to write about this one. The reason why I didn’t want to go back to this camp is because I knew way too many people, and I didn’t want to spend my summers with the people I went to school with. I wanted to meet new people. You feel?? 2010 summer: Before I start, I’d like to give a shoutout to this camp because they DID in fact have resources for disabled campers/campers with disabilities. They even have a program for teenagers and adults with disabilities/who are disabled to come to camp, and they’re able to do camp activities, while also working. A huge thank you from me for being inclusive, and accepting of us. I’m also sending lots of love to the faculty for making it a friendly place for everyone! I was really excited to try out a new camp. I liked having people I knew that I was friends with my first summer because it helped me get used to camp, and having that familiarity really helped. Since this camp is much bigger and has more than one cabin of kids my age, I didn’t know who was in my cabin until I got there. I had a a really good cabin. The girls were nice to me. Well, except for one.... At this camp, I still experienced typical ASD burnout meltdowns, but I was able to get the resources I needed. This camp had a social worker, so I was able to get help from her as well, but I mostly got help from her my 2nd summer. Summer 2010 was the summer when Silly Bandz were really popular, and I was OBSESSED. I brought all of mine to camp in a big Ziploc bag. I watched those things like they were my children, so I didn’t lose any. I found Silly Bandz all over camp grounds, and whether they were broken or not, I’d pick them up and add them to my collection. One of the main purposes of Silly Bandz was to trade them, so I was able to do that with campers, and counselors. One time I traded one of my Silly Bandz (I think it was an green and white tye-dyed iPod) for a blue sparkly Eiffel Tower. After a day, I decided I wanted my iPod (or whatever silly band it was) back. But I did not want to give up the Eiffel Tower one. So I asked her if I could have mine back, and she said no. So I found a time when I was in the cabin by myself, so I went to her bag of Silly Bandz and stole it. Lol oops! Luckily, no one noticed! I remember one night in the middle of the night, a bat came into our cabin while we were sleeping. It landed on one of my bunkmates while she was sleeping, and she screamed. I didn’t hear it but everyone else did, so my counselors woke me up and told me to leave the cabin with everyone else. We stood outside for around 20 minutes until the bat was cleared out! I had a BLAST this summer at camp! I was so excited to go back next summer, and despite of my ASD burnout meltdowns, they were accepting of me coming back! Unfortunately, this camp has 5x the amount of campers the other camp did, so there was always something going around. When I got home, I had the worst lice imaginable. I was scratching my head for weeks, and I kept asking my mom to check for lice, and she never saw anything. The day she finally saw it, I was at the doctors because I wasn’t feeling well. I asked her to look one more time, and she sees a bug jump on my head. As soon as I got home, I went into the bathroom and sat down for 3 hours as my mom was getting all the bugs and eggs out of my hair! 2011 summer: This summer was really fun as well. I was excited to see all my camp friends who I haven’t seen in a year. I was in the same cabin with some of the people from last summer, but mostly new people. This summer I was able to have my own personal counselor. None of the other campers except for me knew that she was there specifically for me. Of course, she was able to hangout with the other kids also, but she was mostly there if I had autistic burnout meltdowns or needed any additional help. What was nice about having her is that I actually knew her beforehand. She was one of our family friends. Some of you may think that’s a conflict of interest, but it was a good fit. Both years at this camp, I went on a canoe trip, but this one was way more memorable then the last one. I actually had friends on this one, unlike the last one, I didn’t know anyone. I had so much fun, but what happens on the canoe trip, stays on the canoe trip lol. Let’s just say I was one with nature. Sadly, I don’t remember as much about this summer as I do about the other one, so I’m really sorry about that. I wish I could provide more information for you. But like I said above, this camp has 5x the amount of people as the other one did, so I again, came home and got what was going around camp, which was pink eye. It wasn’t as bad as the lice, but it was still so horrible. I woke up one morning with my eye glued shut with goop, and crust, and the other could barely open, but it did a little bit. Not to mention, they both hurt really bad. Despite coming home with lice and pink eye, I’d much rather go back to this camp over the 1st one I wrote about. If I were asked to be a counselor at this camp for NT’s and/or ND’s, I would definitely consider it. I love how inclusive the faculty is of people who are neurodiverse! Thank you to everyone who read this post, and I’ll see you next week for an autism related post, and in 2 weeks I’ll be writing about my home away from home. Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower |
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