Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks post, I will be writing about autism and empathy. Lots of people may think we’re not empathetic, but that’s the opposite actually. Today, I’ll be debunking that assumption with the help from autistic people/people with autism’s posts whom I follow on Instagram. They all explain it so well. I’ll link their posts down below for you guys to check out!
In school, whenever I was sad, my autistic friends/friends with autism were always the first ones who asked if I was ok, and they wanted nothing but for me to be happy, while my NT “professionals” were helping other students. In fact, we feel our feelings so strongly, and that’s probably because of all we’ve been through, and the discrimination, and exclusion we face from society everyday. Even if we may not show empathy, we feel it. Physically and emotionally. The physical part is hyper empathy. Cognitive empathy is the emotional part, which we have a harder time feeling compared to the physical part, but I personally feel it. Despite being hyper empathetic, however, it can be hard for us to understand peoples emotions at times. We know when someone is sad, but we can’t express that to them, but we feel it. We want to help you, but other than asking what’s wrong, and saying we’re here for you, we usually don’t know how. People just assume we don’t care if we get awkward, or if our facial expressions are off. Trust me, WE care about you more than anything. When we show kindness towards you, it’s real. We think you’re amazing, and want to be apart of your life. We want nothing more than to be your friend. There’s also something called the “Double Empathy Theory”, which I learned about on Instagram. The Double Empathy Theory was proposed by autistic academic Damien Milton. As you all know, research has said that we are not empathetic, but Milton states that the communication issues go both ways. NT’s have a hard time with our communication style, as we have a hard time with yours. I agree 100%. It’s a two way street. We’re just called out for it because we’re a minority. Again, ANOTHER double standard with autistic people/people with autism. The Double Empathy Theory is basically when people who have different experiences with the world (comparing NT’s and ND’s for example), struggle to communicate and empathize with eachother. Don’t get me wrong, I know MANY NT’s who are empathetic to me and other people with autism/autistic people, and I’m empathetic towards them, but the communication piece of it for me is always lacking, (even in the smallest way) because we just can’t fully understand eachother. Especially someone who doesn’t know much about autism and how our minds work. Scientists also did a study to understand the double empathy theory. Personally, I am against scientists using us for data, as we are NOT lab rats, but I think this one is really fascinating and speaks 1,000 words because it also studies NT’s as well. The study showed pretty much what I’ve been saying all along; when NT’s find it harder to understand us, they tend to like us less. The study also showed that it takes a few seconds for NT people to form negative first impressions compared to ND’s who actually get to know a person first. Another one of my points proved. Interesting. To sum it up, the Double Empathy Theory basically holds EVERYONE accountable. NT’s and ND’s. There’s WAY more of empathy, and the Double Empathy Theory I didn’t cover in this post, including how NT’s may have a hard time reading our facial expressions as well! so please check out the links below. I think this topic is SO interesting, and it pretty much covers stuff I’ve been saying all along, so it pretty much goes to show that autistics/people with autism ARE in fact, the experts of autism. This blog post is written evidence of it. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CS5fb-uBoWl/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CR1nxxhMQHk/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CIixnElB3H7/?utm_medium=copy_link
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Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! We’re back! For my post this week, I will be talking about how people with autism/autistic people experience gaslighting pretty much on a daily basis. Gaslighting is a new word people have been using a lot lately and it means “a form of manipulation that occurs in abusive relationships. It is an insidious and sometimes covert type of emotional abuse where the bully or abuser makes the target question their judgments and reality. 1 Ultimately, the victim of gaslighting starts to wonder if they are losing their sanity”. Sometimes I feel this way when I’m called out for an autistic trait. No one has ever said to me the words along the lines of “stop showing autistic traits” but I have been criticized for things that are autistic traits. Even if they’re subtle. I found this posts on Instagram posted by @autieselfcare and @hikiapp that list some examples of how people who have autism/autistic people are gaslighted. There’s a lot of examples, so I’m going to link the posts at the bottom of this, but I’m going to elaborate on 3 that hurt the most when people say them. All of the examples listed in the post hurt, but these ones I feel like I should explain more in depth.
“Making fun of us if we don’t get jokes”. When someone tells me a joke or is sarcastic with me, I’d say there’s a 50/50 chance whether I take it as a joke or take it literally. Sometimes I know right away, sometimes it takes me some time to decide if it’s a joke or not, and other times I don’t know at all, and I respond and people laugh at me. People claim they’re not laughing at me, and they’ll say I’m being cute, which I hate. Autistic traits aren’t cute. They aren’t quirky. Nothing along those lines. Saying stuff like that is incredibly ableist and offensive. It also makes me feel like I’m being talked down to, and that always stings. “You can’t expect everyone to change just for you”. I’ve been told this before and it doesn’t just sting. It burns. You NT’s can be so selfish sometimes. We have to live in your world everyday, and go out of our way to adjust to your norms, even if we feel burnout in the process. It’s funny how we’re known as selfish, though. I wish that one day out of the year there was a holiday where the world got to revolve around us and our needs and we could shit on you guys for having “abnormal” needs. Omg that would be so nice. The fact that I can’t nicely ask some people to be accommodating towards me without hearing this response is astounding. “Stop taking everything so seriously” Yup. I’ve heard this one a million times. Autistic people/people with autism are VERY literal thinkers (week 22). It can be a blessing and a curse, but mostly a curse because people make fun of you. Or they don’t take you seriously, or you annoy them. But I also feel like if I don’t take something too seriously, it may be viewed as I don’t care about the situation. I’m always worrying about everything and I can literally hear the voice of one of my parents (not gonna say which one) in my head as I’m writing this saying “stop taking everything so seriously”. I didn’t want to elaborate on this one because it hurts me THAT much, but I feel like I should to educate people on the harm it does. So that’s it for this post. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Gaslighting has been a very common term used lately, and it’s even possible to gaslight autistic people/people with autism. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.verywellmind.com/is-someone-gaslighting-you-4147470#what-is-gaslighting https://www.instagram.com/p/CPlsI83sPpC/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CSt3cCrMGfZ/?utm_medium=copy_link Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For my post this week, I will be talking about collecting. Believe it or not, autism does have correlation with collecting. I’m not saying everyone who collects has autism/is autistic, we just have a different way expressing our love for our collections. That’s all. Also a heads up, this is going to be a longer post so get ready!
I was scrolling through Instagram one day, and I stumbled across this amazing post by @neurodivergent_lou, and oh my gosh, it resonated with me so so so much. More than other posts, mostly because I’ve had lots of different collections my whole life. Here’s what you need to know about autism and collecting! It’s a common trait for people with autism/autistic people to collect things, even things that may not be common things to collect. Sometimes people on the spectrum collect non physical things such as phone numbers, song lyrics, pictures or registration plates! Why do we collect? Well, collections help us when we’re feeling stressed, or if we’re having an identity crisis. Sometimes our collections help us find a sense of who we are. Personally, I feel like my collections are a big part of who I am, and I take pride in my collecting. It’s also a GREAT way to meet new people who have your shared interest. I’m in some Facebook groups for my collections. We get to talk about it, and buy, sell, and trade with each other. I’ve been taking lots of trips to the post office recently to send packages for sales or trades! Sometimes people on the spectrum collect stuff related to their special interests (week 29), but for me, my collections are my special interest. Well, one of my special interests. I have a few different special interests. When it comes to organization with people on the spectrum, I’ve met people who are neat freaks or completely messy. No in between. Personally, I am very messy. Unlike with my collections, they are mostly very organized. Lots of people with autism/autistic people find it enjoyable to organize their collections, line them up, and structure them. It’s also fun for us to make lists relating to our collections whether it’s a list of what we have in our collection, or a wishlist of stuff we want to add to our collections. Even if we don’t buy the items on our wishlist. For me though, I usually do lol. With collecting, the items aren’t always used. I do not use my collections. They’re organized in boxes or bins because I want nothing to happen to them because they are my very prized possessions. Honestly, I’d probably cry if something in my current collection obsession went missing. Lots of us collect more than one thing at once. I do, but I’ve recently retired some of my collections. Right now I’m focused on one thing, and one thing only, and that is Disney Doorables. I still have my other collections from my past incase I want to start collecting again. Also, if you want to touch our collections, PLEASE ask!!!! I can not stress that enough. Something that makes it hard for us to collect is the hard judgements from NT’s when they say stuff like “why are you buying more, don’t you have enough?” Or getting shamed about how much money you spend on your collection and that you don’t “need” those items. Autistic people/people with autism are VERY empathetic people. As you know, we just may have a hard time showing it. Some of us may even be attached to, and feel empathy towards an inanimate object. Like we may get worried if a mug, figurine, etc may feel upset if it’s thrown away. This theory is connected to something called “synesthesia” which is when senses that aren’t supposed to be connected are connected, and I never knew what this was, so maybe I’ll write a post about that too. Another reason why we may have empathy to objects is because lots of us are lonely. It also helps us have a feeling of consistency, and logic, which are both great feelings. I can relate to the lonely thing though. It can be lonely being autistic/having autism sometimes, since lots of NT’s misunderstand us and don’t want to be around us, or include us. Just like other autistic traits, collecting is one that is perceived as “abnormal” by NT’s. People may not like the way we collect, or how we organize our collections. I want to raise more education on autism and collecting! So that’s about it for this post. This was a long one, so thank you SO SO SO much for reading this. Honestly, there was a phase where I was super burnt out from this blog, and wanted to quit entirely, but now I’m getting back into the groove, so there’s a 99% chance there will be a new post next week! See you then! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CPOPLoJMiH7/?utm_medium=copy_link |
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