*DISCLAIMER- I know I said that I would be posting about autism related double standards I had in school, but after some thinking, and talking to my former NT autism “professionals” from elementary, middle, and high school, I decided to bag that topic*.
*ANOTHER DISCLAIMER- On Saturday, I realized that I forgot to put a trigger warning on my post last week for briefly talking about restraining. So my apologies if I made anyone mad, upset, or uncomfortable as I was talking about it. I added the TW in*. Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks post I’ll be posting about some struggles. One of the biggest misconceptions, if not the biggest misconception is how autistic people/people with autism are struggling, and suffering everyday. I’ve seen posts about it, and they make me sick to my stomach. The Autism Speaks videos “I am Autism” and “Autism Everyday” (weeks 14 and 15) really make it seem that way. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. If you truly think we’re “struggling and suffering”, you’d do things to help us, and include us instead of sitting on your asses and posting about our “suffering”, right? That makes the most sense to me! Ok so here are some struggles we have, and none of them are having autism/being autistic. They’re all what you bring upon us because of our autism. We’re fine with having autism/being autistic. We’re living our happy, best lives. The REAL question is “are you living yours?” “You don’t include us”. Inclusion is always something I’ve been super passionate about. Why? Because there’s times where I’ve cried myself to sleep because of not being included (week 13). I don’t as much anymore because at this point I’ve gotten used to it, and I know telling people how I feel won’t work. Believe it or not, not having a neurodiverse person in your friend group IS ableism because you’re limiting your circle to people who are NT, and won’t give us the chance to integrate, which is discrimination. If you consider it “taking a risk” letting a ND person in your circle, that is also ableism. “You don’t allow us to speak for ourselves”. If you read my letter to neurotypicals on my blogs social media accounts, I mentioned something about us not being able to speak for ourselves. Yes, not everyone who is autistic/has autism are capable of speaking up for themselves in a way like I can, but every ND person should be able to have the chance to be able to speak up for themselves. People who are non verbal can still speak up for themselves to some extent. There’s “professional development” conferences held, and there is hardly a person with autism/autistic person speaking at those. It’s always a NT autism “professional” because having a degree that’s just a piece of paper is more valid then having the brain. The sad truth, isn’t it? “Challenging stereotypes”. Oh boy, not the stereotypes. This is the worst! You all talk about stereotypes like we don’t understand what you’re saying, but we do. I’ve had people make autism related assumptions about me, in which some are true, but most of them are not. Not every autistic person/person with autism follows every stereotype. The last thing I want is people to assume I do certain things or am a certain way because of my autism. “The r- slur being thrown around at us”. Adding a 4th one in here, as I usually make 3 points for my blog posts. Fortunately, people are becoming more educated on the meaning of the r- slur, so I don’t hear it very often, and when I do, there’s almost always someone who says something about how offensive it is. But there are some times where I still hear the r-slur not only towards myself, but towards other people with disabilities/disabled people. Not just autism. I was the called the r- slur recently by someone I don’t even know, and it really hurt my feelings. It made me very sad, and angry. I gave myself a pity party about it for like a day, but then I realized that I’ve gotten so many kind, positive comments about my blog, and I should be focusing on those, instead of that one time someone called me the r-slur. Someone I know who has autism told me my blog has helped them become more confident with who they are. By far the best compliment I’ve received on my blog so far! So that’s my blog for this week, and notice how none of the struggles are having autism/being autistic. It’s the lack of acceptance from YOU! This post isn’t meant to bash anyone in any way, but now that I’m 40+ weeks into my blog, I’m going to start being more and more blunt, and I’m not holding back my TRUE feelings anymore. I’ve sugarcoated a lot of my past posts, but that’s not happening anymore. It’s time for the harsh truth, and to prove a point. I’m still a nice, fun person though I promise! I’m not as intimidating as my blog makes me seem! I’m actually a huge softie! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week! Ps- I’m attaching the “I am Autism” and the “Autism Everyday” films down below since it’s been forever since I posted about them. If you want to learn more on how to help us and what organization to NOT donate to, I recommend that you watch them. Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://youtu.be/9UgLnWJFGHQ (I am Autism) https://youtu.be/O0vCz2KWMM0 (Autism Everyday)
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Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For the next 3 not autism related posts, I will be writing about my experiences at the summer camps I went to. This weeks camp I’m writing about I will not be giving the name for because a lot of bad things happened at this place for me, and most importantly, I don’t want to get sued lol. This is the first summer camp I went to. I’m glad this was the first one I went to, so I can get it out of the way, because this was the camp I was restrained at, and due to that, writing this makes me choke up, and I have tears in my eyes. But I can’t exclude 2 of my summer camp experiences from this post since they all connect to eachother, so I feel obligated to write about this one lol.
Before I begin, I’d like to say that I’m not here to bash anyone, or this camp. All of this happened ages ago, and the only thing I’m still mad about is the restraining incident. I will probably hold onto that forever. I’m grateful I went to this camp because it helped me grow into the person, and activist I am. Technically, my first 2 years at this camp were in 2007 and 2008. I went to this camp with a special needs organization for 2 nights, but it wasn’t ran by this camp. They brought their own volunteers, and they took care of us, so I had really nice experiences those years, which is why I wanted to go back as a camper for real this time. I was so excited. 2009 summer: Before I start, I’d like to make it clear that this camp had no resources for kids with disabilities/disabled kids, which is one of the reasons why I struggled there so much. Yes, that is ableism incase you’re wondering. I remember before I left for camp, my mom read me a list of the girls who were going to be in my cabin. I knew one of them from school, but we weren’t friends. I don’t remember much about this summer, since I try my best to block out memories from this camp, but I do remember some of it. I lost a tooth at camp, and on the 4th of July color war, I was wiggling it all day, and I didn’t want it pulled out. It was pretty much hanging by a thread at that point. I ended up losing it the next day. I wrote a note to the “tooth fairy” asking for lots of things like candy, a new tv, a new stuffed animal, etc. I got a box of Starbursts, and I probably ate it in a day, while also sharing it with my bunk mates. My bunk mates weren’t the nicest to me at times. Like a typical kid with autism/autistic kid, I was the outsider. One of my bunk mates got a fortune teller in a package, and there was a male counselor who I enjoyed spending time with, and everyone thought I had a crush on him, and they would harass me about it everyday. The girls asked the fortune teller if I had a crush on him and it said “absolutely”, which made me really mad. I found his Facebook, and ironically, he’s gay. I hope he’s doing well, as he was good to me, when others weren’t so I thank him for that. More happened this summer that I remember but I honestly don’t want to talk about it. 2012 summer: As you can see, I skipped 2 summers at this camp. I went to a different camp in the meantime, which I’ll be writing about in 2 weeks. Overall, I did not enjoy this camp my first year, so my parents encouraged me to try something new so I did. I loved the camp I’ll be writing about in 2 weeks, and I still have very fond memories of it, but I really wanted to go back to this camp. For some odd reason, I missed my old bunk mates. My 2nd summer at this camp was much worse. The restraining situation was just the cherry on top of the sundae! When you’re 11, you start noticing differences in people, so I was picked on a lot at camp this summer. Not only that, 3 of my 4 counselors weren’t nice to me at all. I have no hard feelings towards 2 of those 3, but to the one who restrained me is a different story.... I cried a lot at this camp, and sometimes it would get out of control. Typical ASD burnout meltdowns basically. 2 of my 4 bunk mates weren’t nice to me. At this camp, I would stim (week 31) by pulling leaves off of the tree outside of my cabin. One of my bunk mates would always tell me to stop, but I didn’t. Eventually, she approached me from the back and pulled a piece of my hair out and said “how does it feel?” Referring to me pulling out the trees leaves like pulling out a piece of its hair. I stopped after that, but of course she didn’t get in trouble because I was the kid this happened to. No one really cared about me there. Everyone was against me, except for my sisters cabin. There was more that happened this summer, but I don’t want to talk about it either. Too much negative vibes for one post! At the end of the summer, I looked at the positives over the negatives and I wanted to go back, but sadly (sad at the time), I wasn’t allowed. The camp did not want me back because they didn’t have the resources for autistic kids/kids with autism, which again, is ableism, by the way!!!! I cried for hours, but all those tears were worth it because I went to an amazing camp for the following 4 summers, which I will be writing about in 4 weeks so stay tuned for that! I promise this camp trilogy has a happy ending! (Except for the part when the amazing camp I went to closes for good)..... As always, thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks post I’ll be talking about the do’s and don’ts about communicating with an autistic person/person with autism, (trying to use both person first, and identify first language in my posts now). I’ve noticed lots of neurotypicals have poor communication with us, so this is a post to educate you on what, and what not to do.
DO- Be direct, and honest with us. When it comes to communicating with a person who has autism/autistic person, you must be direct with us. Even if it may hurt our feelings, we need to know the truth, and we need to hear the truth because we are VERY literal thinkers (week 22). We hear you, and take your words into much consideration. So if you’re telling us false things to not hurt our feelings, that’s a bad thing because we’re taking you literally. Your words speak louder than your actions, until we figure out the “social hint” you’re giving us if we even do. (Week 37). It’s not intentional, it’s how we are, and we can’t help it. We don’t want to be fixed, or cured. Not to mention, your way of thinking makes no sense to us anyways! DON’T- Dance around subjects that may hurt our feelings. Similar to what I wrote about in the last paragraph, but this time it’s a communication don’t. When I wrote my week 37 post, I talked about how someone was giving me “obvious social hints” for 3 years, and how much it affects me still till this day. Sometimes when I’m in bed at night, I sit, and think to myself, and wonder which one of us is crazy or crazier. Her, keeping the lie going for so long, or me, taking that much time to pick up on a social hint, but only because she finally told me. It’s hard to tell. I keep perseverating on it (week 23). No autistic person/person with autism should have to deal with that situation like I did. If we’re making you uncomfortable, mad, upset or any other negative feeling, don’t hesitate to tell us!! We’re empathetic, and we want to know why you’re upset with us, and we won’t know to change those behaviors if you don’t communicate that with us. We’re taught to communicate our feelings, but you guys give us silent “social cues”. Practice what you preach. DO- Treat us like the age we are. (Btw- I’m 20). There have been times where I’ve dealt with the ignorance of people who’ve talked down to me because of my autism. Little do they know, I understand EVERYTHING they’re saying, and I catch on to the tone of their voice and the childish delivery. I had a very NT type life at school, and I was treated this way, so imagine people with autism/autistic people who aren’t in as many NT things are treated. It’s so sad. Being treated like this, and witnessing people being treated like this makes me very uncomfortable. Now that I’m speaking up for myself more, people have been listening to me, and treating me like my age. Should’ve been like that all along. DON’T- Treat us like children if we aren’t children. This would happen a lot in high school when I participated in Peer to Peer. There was a period of time that I didn’t want to go to Peer to Peer during lunch because of the way (ableist) NT students treated me. They talked down to me, even though my purpose was to be a peer, not someone who needed a peer. All they saw was the autism. Maybe NT’s do this because they’re uncomfortable around us. They may not know how to act when they’re around us, and they may think they have to be a “role model” to us, which is ableism, because they’re trying to look “more superior” than us, and like they’re in charge of us. I never talk down to anyone who has a disability because it’s rude, and I know how it feels. I talk to them like they’re a human being of their age, which is how it should be. DO- LISTEN TO WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY. People with autism/autistic people are known to have a “hard time” with perspective taking by NT’s, but I personally think that’s not true. Just because we’re disabled/have a disability doesn’t mean our feelings aren’t valid. That doesn’t mean our perspective is wrong. It means our perspective is different than yours, and that’s ok! Nowadays, I usually vent to my ND friends about stuff that is bothering me because they truly understand me, and get my perspective, and don’t try to talk me out of it. They listen to what I have to say, and let me think like an autistic person/person with autism without feeling shame, or guilt. DON’T- Try to “convert” us. Some autistic people/people with autism have lots of trauma from ABA, since it’s almost like “conversion therapy” to them, but I think trying to “convert” us takes place outside of ABA as well. (Week 34). When I would get into social conflicts with NT’s at school, I would be taught by NT autism “professionals” to think like a NT, which is why I have some hard feelings towards high school, because I didn’t have nearly as much freedom to be myself as I do now. We aren’t trying to “convert” you into thinking like us, so why are you trying to “convert” us into thinking like you? Double standard much? But...... ever since I made my blog, NT’s have been listening to me A LOT more, and I finally feel heard. You guys are listening to my perspective, and letting me think like me, which is what you should let every autistic person/person with autism do. Thank you to everyone who has listened to my voice recently. It really means a lot to me. I hope you guys enjoyed my post for this week, and I hope this gave you a better insight on how to communicate with us. We’re people just like you, and we deserve to be treated as such. You don’t need to feel uncomfortable around us. We’re non judge-mental and we love NT’s (even though it may not seem like it). Thank you to everyone who read this, and I’ll see you all next week! In 2 weeks, I will be writing about small double standards autistic people/people with autism have to deal with in school. I was going to write it this week, but since I’m told that my perspective is wrong in situations over and over again, (which is why I needed an IEP), I wanted to post this one first, so you know to listen to me and what I have to say. Please don’t tell me I’m wrong. Just because I have autism/am autistic doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t valid! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks post, I will be writing all about impulse control. I had a post pre written about this awhile ago, but this one is new because I feel like my post from 2 weeks ago has a connection to this post. (I’ll be combining the pre planned post I wrote over the summer, and this one which I wrote recently. They’ll be mixed with one another so you won’t be able to tell when each part was written). I wrote about a “social hint” that we just do not fucking understand, and what we do when that “social hint” is being presented to us. (Week 37). Sometimes we may lose impulse control if that is happening. Let’s get started!
I already kinda started this post up there, but that was more of a refresher. When it comes to me personally controlling my impulses, I’ll put it into a metaphor for you. Controlling my impulses to me feels like I’m trapped in a box and can’t get out. Imagine seeing a box move, and wiggle all around. That’s me inside the box trying to control my impulses. My impulses 99.99% of the time are not texting/emailing lots of things to people if they’re taking too long to respond. Because like I said in my week 37 post, that ridiculous “social hint” you neurotypicals give contributes to this problem I have. When I lose control of my impulses, the box rips open, and I stand up to take a deep breath. I’ve experienced social burnouts from trying to control my impulses. My family will ask me what’s wrong, thinking somethings wrong, but it’s just me trying to control myself so I don’t burden other people. I’d say usually, I do a pretty good job, but on the days where it’s hard, the box metaphor I used is relevant. Physical impulse control is also a thing amongst people with autism. This is what people usually think of when it comes to impulse control. Verbal impulse control is hardly ever thought of. An example of physical impulse control are self harming behaviors, which could include skin biting, arm scratching, banging your head against the wall, etc. Similar to stims (week 31). When you see this happening, you will probably think it’s crazy, but please be patient, kind, and compassionate. They can’t help it. I’ve noticed people who struggle with physical impulse control struggle with communication. I’m very good at communicating my feelings, so I don’t really struggle with physical impulse control anymore. I use my good communication skills as an advantage, so I can speak up for myself, and the autistic community; mostly for those who can’t. I really want to make this post revolve more around verbal impulse control because like I said above, I feel like it’s not talked about enough, and people need more education on it. Verbal impulse control also includes things like these that I didn’t state above; interrupting conversations, angry outbursts, and blurting out answers in class. I can admit that I’ve interrupted conversations, and gotten angry with people before. I’ve never blurted out an answer in class. I always hated participating with class discussions incase I could be wrong. You’re probably still wondering what causes a lack of impulse control. People with autism tend to perseverate/hyper focus on things (week 23). When it happens, our passionate feelings for certain things can lead us to prioritize that thing over everything else in our busy world. The perfect trigger can make us forget about every social norm in an instant, and we’ll just say things that feel right at the time, but then get us into nothing but trouble afterwords. Thank you so much for reading this post. Click on the link below to provide you more information about impulse control. See you all next week! https://blog.theautismsite.greatergood.com/impulse-control/2/ Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower |
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