Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For my post this week I’ll be posting the letter I wrote to neurotypicals that I posted on my blog’s social media back in February, and I’m really proud of this piece, so I want to post it on here.
Dear Neurotypicals, Hi, I’m Kailey, I have autism, and I have a message for you. You are not autism “professionals”. We are the true professionals. You may think we’re weird, but we think you’re weird. It’s a two way street. Please listen to us. You go out of your way to preach how everyone should be themselves, but judge an autistic person for being who they are. You go out of your way to “help” us, but support ABA, which is like autism conversion therapy. You go out of your way to get a college education on autism, so you think you’re the shit since you sat in college classes, which clearly means you know it all. You go out of your way to preach inclusion, but you never include us. Nothing about us without us. You go out of your way to allow other neurotypicals to speak for us, but don’t allow us to speak for ourselves since autism is some tragic, terrible disease, right? You go out of your way to create clubs for autistics to feel included, but we have little to no say in what the club does, and make the people in charge of it all neurotypicals who don’t know shit. Again, nothing about us without us. You go out of your way to share autism “awareness” stuff on social media because another neurotypical posted it, but when we post it, it’s not accurate and we’re wrong. You go out of your way to make inaccurate assumptions about us due to false autism stereotypes you’ve heard from other neurotypicals. You go out of your way to say that autism is a big struggle, like they’re isn’t any happy autistic people. You go out of your way to use the ableist blue puzzle piece to represent us because autism is obviously a puzzling mystery only found in boys that can’t be worked out. You go out of your way to tell people what we’re saying about our autism isn’t true, and we’re using it as an excuse, because clearly you know us better than we know ourselves. You go out of your way to play the victim by promoting harmful “calming down” techniques such as restraining, and a seclusion room. You go out of your way to advertise person first language, but don’t consider us people by treating us like animals for engaging in restraining or putting us in seclusion rooms. (In fact, you shouldn’t even treat animals that way). You go out of your way to donate to autism hate groups like Autism Speaks, and when we try to educate you on the dangers of the organization, you can hear a pin drop, and your dumbasses keep donating to them anyways. You go out of your way to find neurotypical autism “professionals” to present at autism related conferences because they’re right, since they have a piece of paper with their name on it with their university saying that they graduated. You go out of your way to ONLY help kids with autism, like autism magically goes away once you turn 18. You go out of your way to make ableist films to raise “awareness” of autism by hiring a neurotypical actor to play the part since we aren’t capable of doing it according to your narrow mind. You go out of your way to compare those who can’t speak to inanimate objects because them not talking makes them powerless in this world. You go out of your way to mock us, by doing things such as sticking your teeth out, and claiming it’s not mocking us, and brainwash other neurotypicals to agree with you, since CLEARLY we don’t know what we’re talking about. The last 3, I’m talking about you, Sia. As you can see, I am mad. We are all mad. This letter can speak on behalf of all of us autism activists in the world, and individuals with autism in general. I let neurotypical autism “professionals” and neurotypicals in general brainwash me for years, letting them tell me to be myself, but won’t let me be autistic in public since it’s weird to be autistic in public. I let neurotypical autism “professionals” “educate” me on autism, and now I know I was taught all the wrong things, as you are being taught the wrong things too. I was pushed around my entire life, and now I don’t allow people to treat me like that. Yes, people have left me because they can’t handle the new me, and they can’t handle the truth of autism and how we feel, and they think I’m shaming them for correcting them. Yes, people have left me because I’m not afraid to take my mask off in public anymore since the trauma some, not all delusional neurotypicals caused me told me to keep my mask on. In high school, I at least tried to speak up for myself, but I was almost always silenced, and talked into believing the neurotypical autism “professionals” around me. Neurotypicals, I hope you have different feelings once you’ve read this letter. I hope it hit hard, and I hope it made you think, and not be selfish for once. I respect each and every one of you, and I truly appreciate when you’re patient with us and kind to us, but I want you to respect us! If you engage in any of these behaviors, please do better and please listen to us. That is truly helping us and listening to us. Nothing about us without us. Sincerely, A neurodivergent warrior Disclaimer- I tried to use both person first and identity first language in this because identity first language is preferred in the community but I prefer person first language. No hate Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower
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Week 54… Over Stimulation VS Under stimulation (and How to Help Us When We’re Going Through These)7/20/2021 Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks topic I’ll be writing about over stimulation vs under stimulation. There is a huge difference and they’re both very harmful. Honestly it’s so hard to choose which one I’d rather be. They’re both forms of torture to us.
Most people don’t really think about under stimulation being a thing. Over stimulation is usually what’s talked about, but I think there needs to be much more education on under stimulation, so I want to make a post to compare the two. First we’re going to start off with the obvious one, which is overstimulation. The dictionary definition of over stimulation is “stimulate physiologically or mentally to an excessive degree”. People with autism/autistic people get over stimulated in a lot of ways including when something is too loud, anxiety, stress, etc. On the outside, that can look like maybe zoning out, less eye contact, covering ears, etc. On the inside we may feel anxious, angry, hard time focusing, etc. Overstimulation affects your sleep schedule, and health, which can affect your performance on a job and how you treat others around you. This is why I’m SO nervous to apply for a job, and why I’m being so picky because the absolute last thing I want to do is work in an over stimulating environment, and lose my shit. Even enjoyable changes can cause overstimulation, and unwanted side effects like feeling agitated, or irregular sleep schedule. So a lot of us try to avoid situations that are too over stimulating so we don’t have panic attacks. Overstimulation can also result from feeling like a failure or humiliated, which makes a lot of sense now that I know this. treat others around you. Overstimulated Kailey is NOT pretty, and I used to have zero coping mechanisms when I got overstimulated, so I would lash out on other people, which is why I wasn’t too accepted at camp by my bunk mates for the longest time. (Weeks 41, 43, and 45). There’s lots of ways an autism ally (I hope you are) can help us when we’re over stimulated. When we’re feeling this way, try your best to avoid asking us questions, because that will make it worse for us. Most of the time, we don’t want any physical contact with anyone, unless it’s a tight hug or something along those lines, and we NEVER want to hear loud noises, since that could be why we’re overstimulated in the first place. Now onto the less obvious one. Under stimulation. The dictionary definition of under stimulation is “to stimulate too little or infrequently; to provide with insufficient stimulation”. People on the spectrum get under stimulated when there isn’t much going on. On the outside, it shares some qualities of over stimulation as well. Zoning out is also common when you’re under stimulating, but so is stimming, not being able to sit still, humming, etc. On the inside, we may feel bored, uninspired, anxious, etc. We may not know what to do with ourselves so we may engage in harmful behaviors instead of positive behaviors such as taking a walk. Under stimulation is another reason why I’m nervous to get a job because there’s some jobs where you just sit around a lot, and during that time, I have time to get in my head and get anxious about dumb things, which makes sense because being too under stimulated can cause anxiety and depression. Under stimulated Kailey is also NOT pretty. You can’t tell when I am, but I know when I am, and I’m always so anxious, feeling insecure, and just flat out bored and lonely. As an autism ally, you can help us when we’re under stimulated. Let us make sounds if we need to. If possible, give us something to get stimulated by, just nothing too over stimulating! Engaging in a conversation about our special interest can help too (week 29). Most importantly, let us stim, please (week 31). I hope you guys enjoyed my post this week. I learned right along with you, so I used a lot of resources to help me with this one, which will be linked below. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/overstimulation https://healthfully.com/mean-feel-understimulated-5418991.html https://www.instagram.com/p/CQTBUH2M3Au/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CQdYccXMaA4/?utm_medium=copy_link Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! Now that we’re over a year into my blog, I’m gonna start to post some real shit, and delve deeper. But of course, I will be keeping some of my life private too! As a VERY blunt autism blogger, I need to set boundaries with myself on what, and what not to share with the world. I act like I’m proud of my autism 24/7, but deep down, that is not the case at all. There are lots of times where I am very ashamed of having autism/being autistic, and it’s mostly because I think differently than the average person, among some other things. I’m not going to name specific instances since I don’t want to out anyone, and a lot of this stuff has happened more than once so when I mention something that “has gotten me into trouble”, it’s most likely affected me in more than one situation.
You’re probably thinking after those last few sentences, “why doesn’t she change her actions then?” Well, it’s not that easy when your brain is wired to think that way. People may think these bad thoughts about me for something I can’t control, but I also can’t invalidate their feelings, which makes having a different thinking style even harder. I never want to make someone feel that their feelings aren’t valid, because they are, and they’re entitled to feel that way, but I also feel the need to explain myself, stick up for myself, and do my part to educate. I know not everyone is interested in being educated on autism, and how I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but owning up to my actions, and explaining myself makes me feel more mature, and I feel like ever since I started doing this, overall, my relationships with people have improved. However, on the other side of this, in the back of my mind when I do this, I always wonder if people think I’m trying to use my autism as an excuse to get away with certain behaviors I may display. When people say that to me, it always hurts, and is incredibly ableist. My way of thinking is different than people who don’t have autism/aren’t autistic, it’s very black and white, and some of you may even view it as manipulative. So now I’m known as this manipulative, crazy, bad guy to SO many people. That’s what gets me into “trouble”. I have lost friends because of my thinking, and honestly, I do blame my autism for most of my falling outs with former friends. Not all, but most. It’s really hard being apart of the autism minority because you’re living in a world that revolves around non autistic people/people who don’t have autism and their ways of thinking, and since we don’t display that, people keep their distance from us. But we don’t keep our distance from you guys even though your thinking also makes no sense to us. Isn’t it ironic how we’re known as selfish, and not empathetic? I’ve heard all of the things people have said I do. I’m used to being pushed to the side. I’m used to boundaries being thrown my way. I’m used to being excluded, and I used to never bring my autism into any situation, but now I do all the time because over time, I have come to realize that autism is a lot more apart of me than I thought. Autism isn’t all of me, but it is a HUGE part of me, and that is something I’m slowly learning how to accept. I know that I’d be a completely different person without it. I feel like anyone apart of any minority wonders what it would be like to not be apart of that minority. Soooooooo that’s about it for this post. Now that we’re so far into my blog, I want to start showing you that having autism/being autistic (unapologetically especially) comes with a lot of prices, and it’s not always sunshine, and rainbows. I’m still living my best life, and living everyday to the fullest! I’m very grateful for the amazing people I have in my life who accept me for my “flawed” thinking, and all. (Flawed in quotations because it’s different, not flawed). Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Dear readers,
Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! Holy shit!!!!! This is crazy!!!!! 1 year of Embracing my Superpower!!!!! I still can’t believe this!!!!! I started Embracing my Superpower to show the world my (no longer) hidden passion of writing, and my autism, which was also hidden for the most part. I’ve been wanting to make a blog for a long time, and it was midnight on July 6th 2020, when I decided to make my crazy idea of projecting my autism to the world, and autism in general come to life. During this time period, I wasn’t in a good place, but I wasn’t in a bad place either, so maybe that’s why I decided to go forward with that decision, since my life wasn’t too eventful at that moment. But Embracing my Superpower has changed that for the better. I’ve felt lots of different things since I’ve started my blog. I’ve felt happiness, excitement, sadness, anger, and tons more. I’ve felt sadness from past traumatic incidents being brought back to life, since I’ve had to get in touch with my emotions for certain blog, and social media posts. I’ve felt anger towards the disgusting ableists in this world. But over all of this, I’ve felt the biggest amount of happiness, and excitement. I wish I knew sooner that once I started “embracing my superpower”, I’d be a lot happier, and wayyyyyy more proud to be me! Embracing my Superpower has also helped me put my past in the past (other than past trauma being brought back). It has helped me move on from high school, which I thought I’d miss so much for the rest of my life, but now, I don’t miss it at all because I wasn’t confident then, and now I am! I also realized how many people out there love me, accept me, appreciate what I’m doing, and that I can’t force people to be in my life. There have been times where I’ve received a negative comment here and there, but the positive comments are the ones that fill my head, and heart with so much joy, happiness, the motivation, and excitement to keep going with all of this. Even when I have the worst writers block, or when I’m having bumps in the road with my self confidence/love. Embracing my Superpower has also helped me make lots of new friends. Even though most of my new friends are online, it’s still so nice to talk to them. As much as I love my NT friends, I finally know a lot of people that I can fully relate to. I’ve also reconnected with some old friends, neurotypical and neurodiverse! Talking to people online has pushed me out of my comfort zone for sure! I’ve learned so much about myself since I started Embracing my Superpower. I learned that I don’t have to work (so hard) to fix myself, and my autistic traits to fit in with society. I learned to embrace those traits, and use them to my advantage, since someday they could come in handy! Sadly, what came with that was people distancing themselves, leaving me all together because of it, calling me things like a harasser, or setting more firm boundaries. But that just goes to show that they weren’t real ones anyway! I’ve also learned a lot about autism since I started Embracing my Superpower. I learned about the Autism Speaks horror, as I used to support them, and I used to have things with the blue puzzle piece on it. Now all of that has been replaced with rainbow infinity signs, and red instead items. I learned what ableism is, and now I throw that word around like it’s confetti. I wish I didn’t have to, but that’s our world. I’ve also learned a whole new set of vocabulary terms surrounding autism, which I now use on a daily basis to help educate. Not to make excuses for myself, and my actions. Lastly, I’d like to thank all of you for reading my blog, and “embracing my superpower” with me! I know I don’t have a big audience, but I do know that my blog is being used in a minor way to spread acceptance, and educate people on autism, including people I don’t know, and even the small publicity makes my day. I know that I’ve helped people with autism/autistic people become more confident with themselves because of my blog, and I know I’ve helped people my age, or near my age get educated, and some have thanked me for educating them, which always means the world to me! I feel like I don’t say it enough, but at the same time I feel like I say it too much, but since I’m not famous, I don’t call all of you “fans”. I call you “my readers”. Sometimes I’ll talk about how much I love you guys, and I’ll refer to you as “my readers”. Lol now to the point, thank you to “my readers” who have been SO supportive, and patient with me throughout this whole process of my blog, and me growing and maturing as a person in general outside of my blog. Thank you to everyone who is patient, kind, AND compassionate towards autistic individuals/individuals with autism! My goal for this next year with Embracing my Superpower is to get more professional presenting opportunities. Hopefully when all this pandemic stuff passes, I will be able to go even more forward with that journey, and do things in person someday! My goal is to also write more for you guys, so please drop some autism and not autism related ideas in the comments! The only autism topic I absolutely refuse to cover is vaccines connecting to autism, because it’s too controversial, and hits home a little too much. I love you all so much, and thank you. Love, Kailey This blog is dedicated to my zayde (week 47). I know he’d be sharing everything I write with his Facebook friends, as he was the king of posting. I miss you so much zayde, and I wish you were here to see what I’m doing today. I hope I’m making you proud. Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower |
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