Hey friends! Welcome back to my blog! My next two autism posts will be about me, and not about autism in general. These next two autism posts will be talking about autism traits, and stereotypes, except I will be posting some traits/stereotypes that I represent, and in two weeks I will be posting some traits/stereotypes that I don’t represent. I want to make it known that just because someone has autism doesn’t mean they follow every trait/stereotype of autism. I’m so sick of people thinking this. Autism is a spectrum (week 10). So let’s get into it!
“Good memory”. This is a common stereotype connected to people with autism, and I would say that I follow this stereotype. I have a photographic memory. I have lots of literal photographs memorized. Sometimes I can even remember what I wore at my previous birthday parties, and I know all my Halloween costumes from childhood. My family always relies on me when it comes to when, and where something happened. An example of that would be them asking a question like this; “Kailey, when did we go to California as a family?” And I’d answer, “February 2012. I was in 5th grade, and Ella (my sister) was in 3rd grade”. I think this superpower of mine is very cool to have, but there’s cons that come with it. Sometimes I’m expected to remember literally everything! Sometimes I feel pressured to remember things, and if I don’t, I feel guilty that I’m letting someone down, since they expected me to know, and I didn’t. School is a huge struggle with this too. I tend to remember the most random facts I learned years ago, but can’t remember something school related I learned two minutes ago. I’ve gotten told “you’re supposed to have a good memory” or something along those lines when it comes to my school work, and it always really hurts my feelings. I’m not book smart, I’m street smart! I have to work hard to be book smart. It doesn’t come naturally to me. “Hyper focusing/getting stuck on topics”. (Week 23). This is a trait that definitely applies to me. I’m not a fan of this quality about myself, (and I’m sure not a lot of people are either) but I think it’s healthy for me to be able to own up to my flaws, and not push them to the side like they don’t exist. I find myself asking the same questions over and over, or focusing on something I really want to do, and can’t seem to move on when it’s unable to happen. There’s one specific question for certain individuals that I’ve been stuck on for years! (I’m not going to say anything more about that besides if you know, you know). Truthfully, it’s very painful, and emotionally draining to be holding on to certain questions that you don’t like the answer to. It affects my mental health big time, but I never show it. My brain can’t seem to snap out of it no matter how hard I try. My autism definitely wins the “battle” when it comes to these types of things! Special interests revolve around this too. (I’ll be writing about this for week 29, so stay tuned!). People with autism can be so fixated on their interest, and revolve their whole life around it. As for me, I can never stop thinking about my special interest. I don’t talk about it a lot, but I’m always thinking about it in the back of my mind. “Dislikes loud noises, and large crowds”. The majority of people with autism that I know absolutely HATE loud noises, and large crowds. During the spirit assemblies in high school, some of them would go into the weight room above the gym to watch as a small group instead of being with all the students smushed together, and so it won’t be as loud. I’m not a fan of loud noises, and large crowds either, but I mask (week 19), so I’m still involved in situations with loud noises and large crowds. Even though my brain tells me to bolt, I stick it out anyway since it’s apart of life, and I want to do typical things for a 20 year old young woman. Obviously, there’s other stereotypes that I do fit, but I’m going to leave it at these three for this post. Also, please remember that AUTISM IS A SPECTRUM!!!! (Week 10). Thank you guys so much for reading, and I’ll see you all next week/next year! Have a great new year and I hope you had a Merry Christmas if you celebrate! Email- [email protected]. This email is meant for people who don’t really know me and want to get ahold of me. If you do know me, please do not use this email and text me instead. Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower
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*DISCLAIMER- I know I said I’d do surveys every two months to interact with my readers, but the other two didn’t get as many responses as I wanted, so I’m not going to do it anymore. If you have any questions, comments or anything (positive) to say, you can email me. Email is at the end of this post :)*
Hey friends, welcome back to my blog! I wrote about my elementary and middle school experiences, (week 9, week 11, week 16, week 18, and week 20) so now I’ll be writing about my life as a high schooler! Lots of you knew me in high school, so this may not be as fun for you to read, but I still want to write about it. Today’s post highlights my year as a 9th grader. I hope you enjoy! Truthfully, posting about my years as a high schooler wasn’t originally my plan because a lot of you know what I was like in high school. Not only that, high school was fairly recent so I was thinking I’d get too sad because I miss everyone I met. But I decided to post about it because I’ve moved on from the aspect of being in high school. I will never forget the students and teachers I met and I love staying connected to them in any way I can, but I wouldn’t want to go back because I wasn’t at this point in my life where I was confident in who I am. Ever since I got bullied in 6th grade (week 16), I had little to no confidence about my disability for 7 years. It took 7 years to come back! 7 years.... That’s insane. If you thought I was confident in high school, that was all an act. You were wrong. Now I’m VERYYYYY confident, and proud in my own skin. Even though sometimes I wish I didn’t have autism, but that doesn’t occur as much as it used to within those 7 years. 9th grade was my least favorite year of high school because of all the changes that happened in my life. I started a new school, my parents got divorced, and my zayde (grandpa) got diagnosed with cancer, and passed away 6 months later. Aside from those, I did have a lot of fun in 9th grade for the most part. I was a nervous wreck on the first day of high school. I was afraid it’d be like the movies, and the upper classman would be mean to me. I thought that high schoolers didn’t use lunchboxes anymore, so I refused to get a lunchbox when I went back to school shopping. I had a paper bag lunch on the first day of school. I eventually saw that high schoolers still used lunchboxes, so I asked if I could get one. That story is so funny, and I love to tell it! When I came to high school, on the outside I showed that I was very confident and didn’t care what people thought of me, but on the inside, I was the total opposite. I was a ball of anxiety, and cared so much about what people thought of me. I had to get re-used to the ASD classroom life since I wasn’t in an ASD program in middle school, and let’s just say I was a little judge mental at first. I would say things without holding back and with no remorse. Everyone didn’t know me then, so they were shocked, and thought I was a bitch. I attended fall conferences as a freshman, and one of my teachers flat out said that I was rude, and need to improve my behavior. This is all because I was nervous to go back into the autism program. I thought my friends would judge me, and look at me differently. Eventually, I got used to it, and people started to realize that I wasn’t such a bitch after all, and I slowly became one of the favorites. ;) I took Algebra 1 in 9th grade, and I didn’t even try a little bit. Math has always been my worst subject. I’ve had many tutors, and I’ve always hated it. (Sorry math lovers)! My teacher, (who is amazing btw) offered to help me at lunch numerous times, but I refused since I wanted to hangout with my friends. I ended up failing the class, as expected. I had to take online math for the rest of 9th grade, 10th grade and 11th grade because I messed up in one class. Now I do good in math, but I have to get lots of extra help. I got a B in the last math class I took, which was a college class! I’m still soooooooooo happy about it! I had a good social life in 9th grade. Well, I met my best friend. We don’t see each other nearly as much as we used to because of our busy schedules, but she’s still my best friend, and the most genuine best friend I could ever ask for. She accepts me for who I am, despite all my flaws, and my black and white and literal thinking (week 21 and week 22). I also met some of my other amazing good friends. I had a lot of friends in 8th grade at the time, and I was so excited for them to come to high school. My all time favorite memory from 9th grade is when Peer to Peer went to Chicago. That was my first time leaving Michigan without a family member. This was so fun, but it didn’t happen at the best timing. 3 days before I left, my zayde (grandpa) lost his battle with cancer. I was devastated. But I got lucky. The funeral was the day after, and I got to be with family until I left on Sunday. I was so happy my parents still let me go. It helped get my mind off of things, but it was still so fresh, so I got teary eyed sometimes on the trip, but my friends and teachers were there for me and helped me have fun. I have SO much more to write about 9th grade, but I’m just going to leave it like this so it doesn’t get too long. Thank you to everyone who took time to read this! See you all next week! David Glaser 12/2/1940- 6/2/2016. I love and miss you forever and ever, and I know you’ll be proud of me. :) <3 Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Hola amigos! Welcome back to my blog. This weeks post is autism related, and I love posting about autism. I also like to post about other things in my life as well. The more lighthearted things and my funny stories, with the exception of my inclusion post (week 13), and my 6th grade post (week 16). I don’t want to bombard you with posts about autism every week, so that’s why I like to switch it up!
For this weeks post, I will be talking about getting stuck on topics, also known as perseverating. This topic hits different than a lot of other autism related topics because I deal with this way too much in my daily life. The main reason why this happens is because of hyper focusing, but this post is just basically summing up perseverating in a way that’s much easier to understand. If you look up “getting stuck on topics” online, the results you get will be about ADHD and autism. If you’re a parent or are experienced with working with little kids, you know that kids get fixated on things or ideas. But if you have ADHD and/or autism, this can be taken to a whole new level, and will go on for your whole life. This is a behavior that can be frustrating for parents, teachers, and most importantly, us. Our behaviors affect us more than anyone will ever know. This is what you should know about perseverating. I’m skipping over a lot of the article, since I don’t want to make this post too long, but I’ll link it below if you’re interested in reading it. I’m pulling out parts of this article that very much relate to me. Usually I’ll make my autism posts more towards the autism in general, but for today, I’m making this post more towards my direction, so some of you can understand me better. Some of you after reading this will think, “this explains everything”. Perseverating is more than just repeatedly talking about a certain topic. (Talks a lot about this in the article) It can also look like this...... “Perseveration isn’t just about being fixated on a topic and talking endlessly about it. Kids can get stuck on their emotions, actions and thoughts, too. And that can show up in different ways”. This sums up my thoughts perfectly. Say it louder for the people in the back!!!! For example I could possibly.... -Worry about something that might happen since it previously happened -Continue to ask the same question, even though I’ve gotten the same answer numerous times -Looking back on past social interactions. Another name for this is “looping thoughts” -Constantly talking about something that happened forever ago, and asking people if they remember As you can see, I have the 2nd one in bold. This is because this is the one I struggle with that mostly affects others out of the four. I would say the third one, I struggle with the most myself, but the second one definitely affects the people i know the most. Like I said above, teachers can be a group of people who can get annoyed with perseveration. Especially the ones who don’t have much of an education on how our brains work. There have been times where I have asked a specific question to specific people over and over and over and over and over again. (If you know, you know). They probably are/were soooooooo annoyed with me, and want to staple my mouth shut, (or duck tape my fingers together if it’s over text or email) but I can’t help it. It comes with autism, so you’ll have to accept it, or don’t. It’s up to you. But I hope you will accept it, and not be an asshole to people who are different than you. Hyper focusing can also affect your learning and thinking. In my case, I struggle with being flexible. This makes it hard to change my response reacting to your reaction. If I want something for dinner, I have a hard time snapping out of it. This also can affect your impulse control, which I will be writing about in 12 weeks! I know I usually do my autism posts leading into one another, but I think impulse control is a much more serious topic, and I’m getting more and more complex with autism topics as we go. I apologize for this post being longer than the others, but this one relates to my life so much, that I wanted to include as much detail as possible. I hope this reminds you to please be patient with me, and other people with autism who struggle with perseveration. None of us are burdens. Thank you, and I’ll see you all next week! NEW EMAIL ALERT! I made an email address specifically for my blog, but you are still more than welcome to contact my personal one. Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/common-challenges/self-control/perseveration-adhd-and-learning-differences Hey friends! Welcome back to my blog. This weeks topic is about literal thinking. Similar to what I wrote about last week. If you follow Embracing my Superpower on Facebook, you may have seen that I asked for suggestions for my week 22 post, since that spot was blank. Usually I have my post schedule planned out months in advance, but I decided to not post about the topic I originally had here. I know last week was an autism week, but I’m going to be posting about an autism related topic this week and next week because I feel like I need to go more in-depth about black and white thinking (aka literal thinking). Posting a second post about this was a last minute decision. (Two weeks is last minute for this blog, compared to the posts I have planned up to 5 months in advance).
“Literal thinkers are people who take into consideration what the words they speak and hear mean in concrete terms. They tend to be straightforward thinkers who see most tasks as a list of steps, apply the most literal meaning to words, and have trouble seeing the big picture because they will focus on the details of each word”. People who aren’t literal thinkers may get frustrated when communicating with a literal thinker because people who aren’t literal thinkers feel like they’re being so obvious with the hints their dropping, and they’re right in front of the literal thinker, and the literal thinker still doesn’t get the memo. This can get also get frustrating for the literal thinkers as well. Everyone’s brain functions differently. Literal thinkers aren’t intentionally thinking literally, it’s the way their brains are structured. Like I said above, this can be frustrating for both types of thinkers involved. You must know that a literal thinker isn’t intending on frustrating you, as we don’t want to be frustrated either. Please be patient, kind, and compassionate. Please do not blame us. We are not burdens. If you want to have a successful relationship with someone who is a literal thinker, you must not look down on us for not picking up on “obvious” hints you’re dropping at us. It may be more work on your end, but please accept us for who we are, and our communication style. We are very blunt with our feelings because we expect you to do the same. I appreciate when people are straightforward with me because I don’t have to think hard on whether or not someone is trying to drop hints at me. I just know right away. Yeah, it may hurt my feelings, but it’ll hurt my feelings either way depending on what it is you have to say, so just pick your poison lol. People have lost their patience with me numerous times. So trust me, I’ve heard it all. Hit me with it if you have to. There’s been times where hints people are giving me just fly over my head, and I get shit from people because the message they’re conveying is so obvious to them, so they expect it to be obvious for me. It makes me feel like the biggest burden in the world sometimes. I had black and white thinking planned for last week since the summer, but coincidentally my black and white, and literal thinking affected me big time a couple weeks ago, so I want to make another post about it more in detail. Someone I know lost her patience, blew her top, and is probably done with me for good. I was focusing more on her words she said to my face, rather than the hints she was dropping a few years later. It really sucks knowing that my autism got the best of me this time, but it also really sucks knowing that I saw the true colors of an individual who I thought wouldn’t deceive me. (If she sees this, I desperately hope things between me and her get better). I’ve been told by people that there’s pros to literal thinking, and I agree, but the cons definitely outweigh the pros in my opinion. I’d much rather not be a literal thinker, than be a literal thinker with the thinking pros it comes with. I’m kind of nervous to post this because you’re probably thinking “why would I want to hangout with her?!” I hope this doesn’t make you think I’m a burden. I’m a fun person to hang with no matter what relationship we have. I promise! So that’s about it for this post. Thank you so so much for reading this one. Thank you to my readers who tune in to read my posts. Most importantly, thank you to everyone who has been accepting, and compassionate towards me and my literal thinking, and love me unconditionally. I don’t have many people in my life who’ve stuck around for long periods of time. I’ll see you all next week! *Disclaimer- Ok so I want to add this at the end of my post because I’m so fed up with this. If someone with autism says you don’t understand autism, it is not up for arguments. Unless you have autism, you do not have the right to object, whether they’re talking about you or someone else. If you do then you’re being an ableist*. Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Along-With-Literal-Thinkers Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! If you’re new, then welcome! This is my first post about one of the traits of autism. About time right?! (It only took 21 weeks....) This topic was always planned to be my first autism trait post, but I was thinking if I should’ve posted it earlier. I was thinking that because I want my friends to be able to understand this ASAP since I do this a lot. But I decided to wait because I wanted to discuss my past autism related posts before this one. Now is where we get into the more in-depth learning where patience, kindness, and compassion are required. When you’re reading these, please keep in mind that these traits are side effects of autism. We can’t help it. Do we try to control them? Yes, of course. But we usually can’t. So just know when you see people with autism engaging in any of the traits I’ll be writing about, please don’t hold it against us, and please be patient, kind, and compassionate. We are not burdens.
You’re probably wondering, why on earth did Kailey title her post today with three colors? Since this weeks post is autism related, there is obviously a good reason! There’s lots of gray areas when it comes to social norms, but a lot of people with autism can’t see those, and there world is very black and white. A huge thank you to the website I’m linking below for helping me sum all this up perfectly! Black and white thinking is pretty much all or nothing. Well to start, there isn’t much good to black and white thinking. People who don’t have autism may think that this black and white thinking is intentional, and manipulative. Especially when it happens countless times. You just have to be patient with us. We are not burdens. “Black and white, often known as polarized thinking patterns, are ways of thinking that just make sense to people with ASD. Individuals on the spectrum struggle with the nuances and non-verbal gestures and communication that exists in interpersonal interactions and communication standards that may come more naturally to others”. “For example, anything lower than a 100% on a math quiz= failure. And, that’s even if the actual grade earned is a 97%. Handling conflicts is a tough one to begin with, but for someone with ASD, an argument or a lack of argument about a topic= no more friendship. A young woman with ASD may get in an argument with a friend at school and immediately feel they are not friends with this person anymore, struggling to understand that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship and can be worked through. These automatic thoughts can lead to significant setbacks in a child’s academic and social functioning”. I can relate to this a lot. There are lots of times where I believe that a family member, friend, or other people I have a relationship with are mad at me if we get into the tiniest disagreement. When someone takes a long time to respond to a text, email, etc, I think they are mad at me since my automatic thought goes to they’re giving me the silent treatment. This automatic thinking has gotten me into lots of sticky situations, and most people aren’t very patient or accepting of this part about me. I know it’s toxic, but it’s apart of my autism. It comes with the territory I guess. Gray areas are what most people are naturally very aware of. But people with autism, have to take time to learn. If people with autism are struggling to get out of their black and white thinking mindset, you will have to explain the gray area to them. “Since black and white thinkers don’t naturally see the gray, it can be helpful for others to define it for them. For example, if a child who has autism worked on a long-term project in art class and brings it home, claiming they are disappointed with how it turned out and writing off the entire thing as a failure, a parent can ask their child questions such as “did you have to learn any new art skills to make this project?” Or “what is one thing you do like about the project?” Asking both these questions prompts children to see that both positive and negative aspects of one thing can coexist”. To sum this all up in one sentence, we are perfectionists. Thank you so so much for taking your time to read this post. Click on the article below for more info on this topic if you’d like. Next week I’ll be going more in depth with this topic, so they’ll be three autism posts in a row! See you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower https://www.psychedconsult.com/no-room-for-gray-here/ |
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