Hello all you lovely people, welcome back to my blog, and if you're new, then welcome! The topics I'll be posting about this week tie into each other, so I decided to put them in one post. This week, I will be writing about something that hits too close to home. Something that stings whenever I think about it. Something that makes me cry. The importance of inclusion, and what it’s like to feel left out. Truthfully, I’m feeling very nervous to post about this since what I have to say about inclusion is really deep, but I had this on my schedule for week 13, and I really don’t want to move my schedule around more than I already have, so now is the time to be vulnerable with the world. Anyways, here we go!!!!
Inclusion is so important to me. Why? Because there are many instances where I feel left out. Some people really don't understand what it's like so I will be making it into a metaphor. The pain I endure from being excluded feels like someone is stabbing you not in the back, but in the heart. It feels like your heart is constantly a target being shot by an arrow and the people who are excluding you/shooting it are the bow. When you get a bullseye is when the tears come out, and the dark thoughts come in. Whenever I have the chance to include someone, I always do, because I know how it feels to not be included. Not only that, I really don't want anyone else to have a journal filled with possible reasons "why you're not good enough, and why everyone hates you". When I was involved in Peer to Peer in high school, sometimes I'd see someone sitting alone, and I would invite them to sit at the table with me and my friends so they feel wanted. I don't get out much. Especially at night. I've had very few late nights with friends. Why? Because I'm never invited anywhere. Even by people who I thought were my friends, and tell me that I'm their friend. I always see on social media people who I'm dying to hangout with, hanging out without me. There are many times where I have considered deleting social media, but I haven't because I don't want to let the bows and arrows win, and have power over me. I have dreams at night where I'm included. I'm always the happiest person, but then I wake up.... I make up scenarios in my head with a group of people, and I smile and get teary eyed at the same time. I'm smiling because it feels good thinking about the fact that you're included, but it makes me teary eyed because that is not my reality. Inclusion is something I've always been very passionate about. No matter who you are, no matter your disability, you should feel included and you should be included. If I get an invite somewhere, but I can't go, the thought of me being included makes my heart flutter with joy. When I'm included, it's the arrow missing the target. I want to ask one thing from all of you, if there's someone you know who wants to hangout with you, and your friends, please please please include them. You may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome!
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Hello family, friends, and others, welcome back to my blog, and if you're new, then welcome! This will be my 4th post about autism, since I was waiting a month until I posted about autism, since it can be very hard for me to talk about at times. However, this is the last "beginner" autism topic I will be posting. After this post, we will start getting into in depth topics such as perseveration, special interests, stimming, the horrors behind Autism Speaks, and much more of course!
Starting now, keeping up with all my posts on a weekly basis is mandatory. The autism topics I will be writing about are in a specific order for a reason. My posts about autism will now be leading into each other. So if you’re not reading on a weekly basis, you may not understand some things I’m talking about in my post for that week. You will see that in this weeks post as well. I have my post order planned months in advance! For this weeks autism related post, I will be posting some things to NEVER say to a person with autism. Some of these are flat out rude, and others people think are compliments, but actually aren't. It's so hard to keep track of all of them, since there's too many, so I used a website to help me refresh my memory. There are 15 things on this website, but I'm going to choose the two that stand out the most to me, and two that weren't on the website that I think are so important. Take a look below... *This post is about things you should NEVER say to a person with autism, but I wanted to mention something you should NEVER do when it comes to working with someone with autism. I've seen people taking videos of their child with autism throwing tantrums. I've even seen bystanders taking videos of children with autism throwing tantrums! A stranger! And post it! Who does that???? Do you know how rude that is? It is never ok to do this. People with autism are just like you. If you saw a video of yourself when you were going through a hard time, how would you feel? I'm sure you won't like it, as someone with autism wouldn't like it either. Just because someone has autism, doesn't mean it's ok to record someone going through a hard time without their permission. Even if you want to use it for learning purposes. If you've done this, please know how messed up that is, and please delete any of these videos immediately*. 1. "You should be very proud of yourself. You seem so normal. I couldn't tell that you're autistic". Saying this to someone may seem like a compliment. Many people have said this to me, and it stings. However, it did not sting for most of my life. I used to like receiving this "compliment", until I looked into it more. If you know me well enough, you'd know that I don't want people to assume I have autism when they first meet me, and that's how I like it, but saying that when you find out someone has autism is not the thing you should say. Why? Because it says that the person doesn't appear to have a disability and doesn't fit the stereotypes of people with autism usually are like. Most of us who act this way had to go through a lot to get to where we are, so it feels like our accomplishments are being overlooked. 2. "Does that mean you're really good at math/computers/numbers?" Ughhhhhhh I hate this so much. This is a common stereotype connected to autism. Nothing offends people with autism more than seeing us in terms of stereotypes. This especially bothers me because like I said, autism is a spectrum (week 10). Not everyone you meet who has autism is going to match every stereotype, which can make it confusing to tell if someone has autism or not. I'm not good at math at all, I don't like it, and asking us if we like math is rude, because you assume that we like it because we have autism. 3. "You don't look like you have autism". What does that even mean?! Autism has no specific look. What do people with autism look like? Exactly, you can't think of any valid answer. We look like people. This is a common thing that people with high functioning autism have to hear. It's soooooo annoying. Whenever someone tells me this, I always pretend to smile, and I say "thank you" since I don't want he/she/them to feel bad, since the individual meant no harm. If you have said this to someone with autism, don't spend time beating yourself up about it. Just know for next time, and learn from it! Same goes for the rest! 4. "Everyone is on the spectrum" This is so annoying because it's not true. Period I'm attaching the article below if you want to read the other 13. If you want to learn more about autism, I would recommend this article! See you all next week for the importance of inclusion! https://awnnetwork.org/15-things-you-should-never-say-to-an-autistic/ Hi, welcome back to my blog! I hope you've all been enjoying my posts. I really love posting on here, and I hope to inspire people from my posts, as I always love to write. This blog has truly been my outlet to really be myself, and not feel the negative energy of people possibly judging me. I can't feel that energy behind a screen. I always wonder if people judge me for having this blog, but no matter how people may perceive me, I will not stop doing what I love. I hope you enjoyed my post two weeks ago about the beginning half of elementary school. I hope you enjoy this weeks end half post. Let's begin!!
In 3rd grade, I was able to be in a classroom upstairs. Yayyyyy. I was excited to be in a classroom upstairs because that's where I thought the "cool kids" were. 3rd grade was when Silly Bandz were trending. I loved those things more than anything in the world. I had bags full! Some teachers eventually ended up banning them from their classrooms since they were so distracting. We were also one of the first classes to get yoga balls. I also got to be an entrepreneur. Similar to what I did in 2nd grade, except my classmates and I made these ourselves. My friend and I made bookmarks. I wonder if she remembers?! We also used fake money and we were able to "buy" the things our other classmates made. 3rd grade me was so moody, let me tell you. I had so much friend drama. Most of the arguments with my friends were usually started by me, so I guess moody would be an understatement. But I was also very loved by my teacher, as she would tell me that I was one of her favorites. It made me feel pretty special! At the end of 3rd grade, I became eligible for special education services again, which I didn't really know what that meant, so I was ok with it, and I remained eligible for the rest of my grade school life. The 4th grade teachers also had classrooms upstairs, so I was excited to be one of the "cool kids" for another year.... But wait.... SIKE!!!! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!! My 4th grade teacher actually ended up being a 5th grade teacher the year before, and there was no room upstairs, so I was only be able to be upstairs for one year! That made me mad at first because for my entire elementary school career up to that point, I was expecting to have two years upstairs, and having Asperger's and a change of a routine are not the best of friends! Truthfully, 4th grade was just a blah year. I didn't dislike it, but nothing interesting really sticks out to me like 3rd and 5th grade. Wait, that's not true. I remember my other teacher (we switched classes for reading and social studies) telling someone in my class to shut up. That memory really sticks out to me because it was so extremely rude. However, this goes to show that teachers are also human and have their moments like everyone else, and that’s ok! I’ve told many people to shut up throughout my 19 years of living! I bet she would be thrilled to find out that I still remember that. *sarcasm*. Ok that's about it for 4th. Now it's time to reflect on 5th grade.... Oh boy is all I have to say. I was so cringy in 5th grade. A close second to how terrible my fashion was in 6th grade, the only difference was that I wasn't bullied for it. (I'll be writing about 6th grade for week 16 so stay tuned)! I was a different type of moody in 5th grade. Puberty was in full swing! Basically meaning getting upset about everything. Students are usually so excited to have a new teacher and start fresh.... but wait.... SIKE!!!! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN EITHER!!!! My 4th grade teacher ended up moving back up to 5th grade and I was one of the few students who had her again! I didn't realize the HUGE pro about having the same teacher two years in a row back then. It took me once I left elementary school to realize how beneficial it actually was. It was beneficial because we already knew each other, so I knew what I was expecting coming into 5th grade (teaching and behavior wise), and she knew what she was expecting from me (behavior wise). But wait.... SIKE!!!! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN ON MY PART!!!! Like I stated above, I was so moody, which made me a huge pain in the ass. I wouldn't say I was sassy, I would describe myself as more strong willed, and didn't settle for anything except for what I wanted. I ended up playing the trombone for the first half of 5th grade, which was surprising to my parents that I even wanted to. As always, my parents had the right to be surprised because I ended up hating it. I eventually started protesting because I didn't want to go. I would sit in the hallway and pout, and lay on the floor and cry. Protesting since I was 10, am I right guys???? Lol!!!! My band teacher was very understanding. (May he rest in peace). Finally, I switched to choir, which I didn't like either, but I had to stick it out since there was no other option. Besides the cliche memories in 5th grade, like 5th grade camp, and the end of the year pool party, this memory really stuck out to me. We were on the bus on the way back from Gleaner's Food Bank, and we were clearly told that we would get in trouble if we said something other than "here" during attendance on the bus. I must've been feeling a little "rebellious" that day because when my name got called, I responded with "present". My dumb ass thought I wouldn't get in trouble since "present" is a synonym for "here", but I did, and had to sit out for some of recess. That was a bummer. So that's about if for the second half of elementary school. I hope you enjoyed my "interesting" stories and I'll see you all next week! Hi everyone, welcome back to my blog! Before I begin, I would like to say something. Everyone is put on this earth for a reason. I believe that everyone has a purpose. Most people don't recognize their purpose until after college, but some people like me are lucky enough to notice their purpose after high school, and COVID has helped me recognize my purpose, as I've had lots of time to myself to reflect. I truly believe that my purpose is to educate people on autism. I was born with high functioning autism for a reason, because I was meant to educate people, and that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I want to inspire people. I want to do bigger things when it comes to my writing, and being an advocate for autism. I want to be in front of educators and presenting for them. I want to make a local name for myself. That would be a dream come true! (I was supposed to present at a huge conference but it got cancelled twice because of bad weather, and COVID).
This weeks autism related post is one of the more important ones I'll be posting. This post is explaining that autism is a spectrum. What do I mean by that? The word spectrum is "used to classify something, or suggest that it can be classified, in terms of its position on a scale between two extreme or opposite points". Also known as wide range. This basically means that everyone with autism is SO different! "Autism is not a single disorder, but a spectrum of closely related disorders with a shared core of symptoms. Every individual on the autism spectrum has problems to some degree with social interaction, empathy, communication, and flexible behavior. But the level of disability and the combination of symptoms varies tremendously from person to person. In fact, two kids with the same diagnosis may look very different when it comes to their behaviors or abilities". This basically explains that everyone on the spectrum is different. You can't expect every symptom of autism in one person. This is extremely offensive, and not fair to us. "If you've met someone with autism, then you've met someone with autism" is a quote that is overlooked by lots of people. No two people are alike, and same goes with people on the spectrum. The only quality everyone with autism all share with one another is that we have autism. That's it. A common stereotype of autism is lack of social skills. Lots of my peers with autism struggle with this, but there's a lot of my peers with autism who don't. Well, and me. So many people don't know I have autism until I say something, and that's how I like it. But now pretty much everyone knows. It's not a secret. It's apart of my life, it won't ever go away, so I might as well embrace my superpower! ;) Please copy and paste the articles below if you're more interested in why autism is a spectrum. See you all next week! https://www.helpguide.org/articles/autism-learning-disabilities/autism-spectrum-disorders.htm https://www.altogetherautism.org.nz/what-is-autism/ Happy September everyone! I took an English class over the summer and I got an A! I'm so happy! I ended that class last week, and today I start a new English class, so I had a nice week of summer vacation. Ok I have to go now, I have to get back to my school work! :)
Hi, welcome back to my blog! For today's post, I will be writing about some of my times in the first half of elementary school. I was requested to do some of my elementary school stories from people who did not know me then. I don't remember as much of elementary school since it was forever ago, but I looked through some old yearbooks to try and dig up some memories, and it worked! I thought of so many funny stories that happened. I'm very lucky to have had a normal elementary school experience. I wasn't the kid who was in a resource room all day. I was invited to birthday parties. I know a lot of people with autism didn't have these same experiences like I did, and I will always be soooooooo grateful! One thing that people may not know about me was the fact that I was held back in Kindergarten. This was 100% intentional and was planned from the very beginning of my first year. When I was younger, I had a much harder time adjusting to change than I do now, so that first year was just for me to get used to my new environment. The second year was my real year of Kindergarten. A memory that really stuck out to me in my "real year" of Kindergarten was that I wrote a book and shared it with the class. After that, I started a trend, and my other classmates wrote books too. It made me feel good because it was refreshing to see people following what I was doing since my peers knew I was in the special education classroom. Not many people follow what their peer with special needs is doing. I was in an afternoon class of Kindergarten, but little did my classmates know, I spent the morning at school in the resource room so I was there all day like a badass. I was the only Kindergartener who ate with the older kids in the lunch room, so I got some special attention. I remember a girl coming up to me, introducing herself, and asking if I wanted to play with her. She is the daughter of a former Berkley High School teacher so some of you may know her. 14 years later, and I still remember. This goes to show that words can go a long way! Luckily, I'm fortunate to have a birthday right on the cusp of being in the class of 2018, and 2019, so I wasn't much older than everyone in my grade, so it wasn't obvious that I was held back. Other than that, I did each grade once and moved on with my peers. Having an extra year of Kindergarten under my belt basically made me a pro with navigating the school. In first grade, I remember being very fond of the Kindergarteners. I wanted to take them under my wing and help them, but obviously I couldn't since I had to focus on my studies. But when I did events with them through Huntington Woods Parks and Rec, I would always try to talk to them. Even now, I love the class of 2020, and I'm friends with some of them. (I'm especially proud of how they all handled the COVID pandemic). Two of my favorite parts of first grade is when we got to hatch chicks. We got to take care of them, and hold them. They were sooooooo cute! Another one was when we got to write books. We were the last group of kids to be able to write our own books. After that, all 4 first grade classes did a poetry book with their class only, so that's how old I am! Mine was called "All About Fruits and Vegetables". Way to be original Kailey lol. Something really amazing that happened at the end of first grade was that I actually became ineligible for special education services. I could be a "normal kid". Yayyyyyy!!!!! For the whole year of second grade, I was ineligible for special education services as well. However, I still saw the school social worker, I no longer did occupational therapy, and speech therapy the school offered. I also didn't have an individual education plan (IEP) either. I had lots of fun memories of second grade. I remember it being especially fun. Sometimes the sand on the baseball diamond at school would turn into quicksand/mud when it rained or snowed. My teacher couldn't have made it more clear when she said to not go in the mud. But two of my classmates didn't listen and got stuck! It was bad. My teacher went to help them but she got stuck too! Not even the principal could get them out! They ended up having to bring out a wooden board for them to walk across on once they eventually got unstuck. My teacher was so mad omg I can't even explain. That was definitely in the top 5 of the moments I've witnessed one of my teachers go off. Also, second grade social studies was soooooooo fun. I loved it. We did so many fun things. One time we got to have a "class store" and bring stuff from home to sell with fake money we had. I bought a lot of things including some under the sea themed erasers, which I believe I still have! I'll see you all next week for an autism related post, and in two weeks for 3rd-5th grade. Yay! |
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