*DISCLAIMER- the format may be weird on mobile devices, like words being spaced out too much. It’s because I’m posting it on my computer, since I can’t log into my account on my phone, and it’s soooooooo annoying, and frustrating*
Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog. For this post, I will be writing about how waiting for a long time can be hard for us. I personally struggle with this a lot at times, and think it’s important to educate others on this topic because I know it can be very frustrating to non autistic people, and I want everyone to be as understanding of this as possible. Lots of autistics struggle to do something the same day of having an appointment because we’re just waiting for that appointment to come. As I’m writing this, I’ve had so many appointments this week, and will have more next week regarding job coaching, and hopefully being put in an accepting environment. Anyways, lots of us, (me included) spend days thinking of upcoming appointments, and mentally preparing for them. Lately, I’ve been trying to make my plans on days I don’t have appointments, but that hasn’t worked because adulting is sucking for me right now, and I keep having to make appointment after appointment to take care of disabled people shit. What causes wait mode in neurodivergent, (not just autistic) individuals? Some of us may tend to hyperfocus/perseverate (week 23) on things like appointments, so it’s hard for us to start anything new. Me for example, knowing I’m going to a restaurant later gets me stressed out because of the thought of waiting. When I was 16, I can remember getting anxiety and started crying about waiting an hour and a half at a restaurant. My dad and sister were not understanding of how I was feeling in that moment. I was also overstimulated with all the noise. A couple years following, my dad would use that instance against me saying things like, “are you sure you can wait, and referring to that situation”. It was not an easy moment for me, especially when the people around you who love you aren’t understanding. Some autistics and other neurodivergents experience something called “wait mode”, which is when “Neurodivergent people may struggle with switching between tasks due to our difficulties with change and shifting our attention. This can make us reluctant to start anything at all”. -@neurodivergent_lou on Instagram. Wait mode can be caused by time blindness, not knowing when time is passing, and negative experiences of being late to things, so we wait to make sure we aren’t late and can not be distracted with something when we have to leave the house. If we’re already experiencing anxiety about an appointment, among other things you have to wait for, wait mode, can make our anxiety worse, which can make it hard for us to do anything other than think about what we’re waiting for. I know I haven’t posted on here in months, but lately, I’ve preferred posting short writing pieces on Embracing my Superpower’s social media, which people seem to be more receptive to, and sometimes short pieces can give the biggest messages, and hit the most. I’ve also been going through a really tough time in my personal life with my job loss. Most people probably may think I’m overreacting, but, you don’t know what went on behind the scenes when I got hired, and when I got fired. I loved that job so much, and I miss everyone dearly. I may not move on, but I will move forward. Please take a look at the post I linked below since I used it to help me write this. I love looking at autism activists posts on social media. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl9M4iKsBUt/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! This week I’ll be talking about why some autistics, including me (not all cuz not all autistic traits apply to everyone) are tired ALL THE TIME. After reading this post I’m using for this post, I finally have an answer on why I’m always tired. And that answer to why I’m a certain way is always “autism” (aha moment)!
Obviously, this doesn’t apply to every autistic person since not every trait applies to everyone, but this Personally, I am literally tired every second of every day. Even as soon as I wake up in the morning, I am exhausted already. A lot of the times I just fake it really well. I don’t really know what it’s like to not be tired, honestly. Lots of daily tasks that are so simple for NT’s can be really hard for us. Some of those tasks include phone calls, cooking, going shopping, parties, etc. NT’s can also feel tired from doing these tasks, but for autistics it’s different. Autistic brains process 42% more information at rest alone. Imagine how much we process when we’re awake. There is a difference between NT’s recovery from being tired from a night out and an autistics recovery. NT’s can simply recover from extra sleep and drinking caffeine, as for us, it could take days or weeks to recover from a social interaction. As much as I love hanging out with friends, it can be hard to move on from that social interaction right away. I need time to myself afterwords. However, being busy with friends keeps my mind off of other things, so it’s conflicting, as I’m usually hanging out with friends every weekend, and like I said, which I do love, but it’s exhausting. If autistics do those tasks a lot, it may cause us to mask more since we’re so overwhelmed and we can’t show that to the public without being judged somehow by someone. Masking leads to autistic burnout. I’m almost always masking tbh. I have to mask everywhere I go, except for at home, which is why I love and value the times I get to be at home. Personally, I’m tired from the moment I wake up, to the time I fall asleep. I’ll “complain” about being tired all the time and I’ll be yawning 24/7, and people are like “why are you so tired, you just woke up?” We’re not lazy, we are not burdens. We aren’t lying. We are honestly tired all the time. We live in a neurotypical world, and just following those norms alone can be exhausting for us. We put it so much work to understand your world, and it’s so tiring, as our brain is processing so much information that makes no sense to us. So that’s about it for this post. Thank you to everyone who has been patient with me, and my major lack of posting and how I don’t post regularly on here anymore. I’ve been crazy busy with work, and my amazing best friends, so I don’t put as much of my passion into my writing anymore, but I’m going to try my hardest to post more often on here, and my Embracing my Superpower Facebook account of poems and other writing pieces!! Make sure to follow Embracing my Superpower on Facebook and Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/p/CgFYhzavCcZ/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRHFgjxS/ (my best friend Jenna) https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRHFT2pN/ Hey guys! It’s been ages, but welcome back to my blog! I’m coming back on here to write this blog post about body focused repetitive behaviors, aka BRFB’s. Lots of autistics, including myself struggle with BFRB’s, but before I begin, I want to address why I’ve been gone on here for so long. I still want to do autism advocacy, as I’m still doing it, but not as much. When I posted every week on my blog, I was unemployed, so I had lots more time, and energy to write stuff, and post. Work has taken up a lot of my life, as I need to make my own money for my wants and needs, and not mooch off my parents, or disability benefits anymore. I will try to post as much as I can, but please don’t ask me when I’m posting. It stresses me out, and it’s annoying.
Anyone can struggle with BRFB’s, but it’s VERY common in the autistic community, as this can be our ways to stim, (week 31). “Body focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) is a general term for a group of related disorders that includes hair pulling, skin picking, and nail biting, affected at least 5% of the population. These behaviors are not habits or tics; rather, they are complex disorders that cause people to repeatedly touch their hair and body in ways that can result in physical damage”. -bfrb.org This sums it up accurately. Especially for me. I have a few different BFRB’s. I’ve talked about this on social media before, but I have trichotillomania, which is a hair pulling disorder, and ironically, when I was looking up stuff for BFRB’s to put in this post, hair pulling was one of the top ones to come up. I used to be confident in my hair, until my students called me creepy, and whispered, and pointed at my hair. It’s all patchy, and looks ugly most of the time, which is your answer to a burning question on why I always wear a hat. My students ask me about my hats, and I tell them that “it keeps my head warm”, but little do they, or anyone else know that it’s a much more deep rooted issue than that. (No pun intended) BFRB’s are different than self harming behaviors, like cutting. These are rooted from anxiety, boredom, temperament, family stress factors, etc, or don’t have a trigger at all. BFRB’s also don’t have anything to do with OCD. They have some symptoms in common, but they’re different. Most people who engage in BFRB’s do it to “relieve stress” (relieve stress in quotations bc I just get more stressed when I see the damage I did to my hair), the sensation we get from the bfrb is very satisfying to us, as most of our stimming behaviors are. So that’s about it for this post. It’s short, but I hope it gets to the point. Thank you so much for reading, and still supporting me and my blog, even though it isn’t consistent anymore. Click the links below to learn more about BFRB’s and don’t forget to follow @embracingmysuperpower on Instagram! https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/ss/slideshow-understanding-body-focused-repetitive-behavior https://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs https://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/treatment/causes-of-bfrbs Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! Todays post is a little different. I will be doing a podcast collab with my English teacher from 11th grade on her podcast called This Book Changed my Life and I’m so lucky to have been on it. We recorded it 3 months ago, so some things may be out of date, but I really hope you guys will listen to This Book Changed my Life x Embracing my Superpower!
Anchor.fm link: https://anchor.fm/thisbookchangedmylife/episodes/Episode-47-Kailey-Egrin-e1g1mc8 Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6VPh3KGuECNplbXaRDei6r Apple Podcasts link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-book-changed-my-life/id1593685867?i=1000558171216 Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! Before I begin, I’d like to state my new plan with this blog. It has been hard to keep up with writing every week and finding a new topic, so I will be posting when I find a topic that I think I should talk about. So Embracing my Superpower will no longer be a weekly thing, at least for the time being, and please do not ask why. It is my decision, and I shouldn’t have to explain it to people.
For this post, I will be using a post from one of my favorite autism activists, @neurodivergent_lou on Instagram. She’s great! I’d like to first thank everyone for all of your patience with my frequent hiatuses nowadays. I want to focus on things other than my blog including my job, and my personal growth outside of autism! I literally hardly have any energy to write anymore, which is sad because it’s something I love, but you know, adulting lol! Autistic people/people with autism usually describe perfectionism as wanting to build relationships with others and pleasing other people as well. Even at young ages, we face negativity from society because of autistic traits, which may cause us to feel like we aren’t good enough, which will cause us to knit pick everything we do and want to be the best at it all the time. Forming relationships with NT’s is one of the main reasons why we strive for perfection in everything we do. People with autism/autistic people don’t have an easy time with communication, and friendship so that may mean we may try to excel in certain areas to fit in, and be liked, and we of course, want to gain people in our lives because of this. Autistic traits can also be similar to perfectionism, which I learned from this passage in her post. “Although a drive for perfectionism can come from a desire to please and build relationships with others, it can also come from an internal motivation. Autistic traits can also be very closely related to the traits which drive perfectionism such as attention to detail, a need for certainty and black and white thinking”. I definitely relate to all of this a lot, and it makes sense on how perfectionism, and black and white thinking go together. With black and white thinking (week 21), you can sometimes have thoughts of either you have to get everything right on a test, or you fail, which also links to perfectionism. Autistic traits have to do a lot with our want and need for perfectionism, including detail orientation, needing order, needing rules, hyper focusing, wanting certainty, and having hard wiring! So that’s it for this post. Thank you so much for reading! My other links I usually post are inactive, so make sure to follow @embracingmysuperpower on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/p/CZFIu8uMq1Y/?utm_medium=copy_link Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For my blog post this week, I will be writing about autism and interoception. I’ve briefly mentioned writing about this topic in other blog posts, but I wrote interception instead of interoception. Lol oops…. Anyways, I’m going to use an Instagram post from one of my favorite autism advocates of all time, @neurodivergent_lou, and you guys NEED to follow her! I love her account and her posts! I give her so much credit for this blog, honestly.
I usually don’t start off my post quoting exact quotes, but I really like the way she put it so I’m going to use it. “Interoception describes the body’s sensitivity to internal sensations. The interoception system works through receptors located inside the body. As a result, we are able to feel hunger, pain, thirst, temperature or the need to go to the toilet. They gather information from the inside of the body and send it to the brain which makes sense of these symptoms”. This definitely makes sense to hear because I know a lot of autistic people/people with autism either from my past or current life who have a hard time with some of these things, and I finally know something to call it other than just “autism”. Interoception is also emotional, as well as physical. For instance, when you’re anxious, you feel your heart beating fast, you may feel your body shaking, or recognizing you’re breaking heavier than normal. All of this can help people identify their feelings. However, autistic people/people with autism have a hard time with identifying our emotions due to interoception. This may be because alexithymia is common with us as well (week 75). Interoception also has a lot to do with hyposensitivity which means not reacting enough to interoceptive input. On the other side of things, autistic people/people can also be hypersensitive to interoception which means reacting too much to interoceptive input. If you’re hyposensitive to interoception, you may have a hard time knowing when you need to use the restroom, when you’re hungry, thirsty or in pain. You may also struggle with realizing sensations in your body relating to emotions since the body has a hard time picking up on interoceptive cues if you struggle with this. If you’re hypersensitive to interoception, you may have a bigger reaction to when you have to use the restroom, when you’re hungry, thirsty or in pain. One who struggles with this may be hungry or always have to use the restroom. When it comes to emotions, you can be hyper sensitive to body sensations when it comes to feelings. You may have an increased heart rate when you’re anxious if you’re hypersensitive to interoception. Out of these, I identify with hypersensitivity to interoception out of the two. My body is really sensitive when I’m hungry, thirsty or have to use the restroom. If you’re autistic/have autism and are reading, let me know if you’re more hypersensitive or more hyposenstive, I’d love to hear! Thank you all so much for reading this post. I’m going to attach the post I used for this down below. She also added some slides on how to cope with interoception so you guys can check those out too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Tik Tok- @embracingmysuperpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CPn92OWMGrc/?utm_medium=copy_link Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks topic, I will be writing about something called alexithymia and it’s connection to autism. Again, this is something I’m learning right along with you guys, and I’m so lucky to find actually autistic resources on Instagram to help me come up with topic ideas! Honestly, I’d be lost without them, and this blog probably would’ve already died by now! Lol!
Alexithymia is when people have a hard time describing their emotions, which can also make anxiety worse for us. It’s a common thing of people of all neurotypes, but it’s extra common in autistic individuals/individuals with autism. Approximately 50%-85% of autistics/people with autism are alexithymic. However, another source says it’s 1 in 5, so I’m not sure what to believe tbh. Interception, which is the sense of one’s body international state, is common when you’re dealing with alexithymia. (I’m thinking about planning on writing about that for a future post). Some examples of that would be acknowledging when you’re hungry, and temperature signals. For part this post, I’m using a post from the account @flappyfroggie on Instagram and they said “I’ve noticed that whilst it is known to be common in autistic individuals, there seems to be a scarcity on how to deal with it and express and understand our emotions better”. I also think this is true because I’ve never heard of alexithymia be talked about ever. We have emotions, but it’s hard for some of us to express them, and there needs to be more acceptance for that. Like I said above, alexithymia affects anxiety. Well, there are 2 reasons for this. One of them being autistic people/people with autism can have problems with anxiety coming to alexithymia is because we sometimes have a hard time sensing physical symptoms (which part of what alexithymia is) of anxiety. This may include when your heart rate changes, and adrenaline rushes. It can make thins feel unpredictable, and confusing which can worsen anxiety. Another reason is it can make it difficult for autistic people/people with autism to control their emotions. People who struggle with anxiety can accept certain levels of worry sometimes. However, an autistic person/person with autism who has alexithymia may find this more difficult to regulate than NT’s. Before I read that part, I was about to say “yeah I don’t accept worrying of any kind”, even though I don’t think I have alexithymia. I’m usually very good at advocating for myself. On another note, they may push these feelings away, which will end up making things worse! Alexithymia is one of the reasons why basic therapy isn’t always effective for autistic people/people with autism. If we’re seeking treatment for anxiety, it is important for someone to know about alexithymia if we do deal with that, but not everyone does! So that’s about it for this post. Thanks so much for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Tik Tok- @embracingmysuperpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CXZE9a-Mnzc/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.autistica.org.uk/what-is-autism/anxiety-and-autism-hub/alexithymia https://www.instagram.com/p/COQNFKXsVAf/?utm_medium=copy_link (another good post I didn’t use for my blog, but good information if you’re interested in learning more!) Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For this weeks post I will be writing about autism and it’s connection to aphantasia. I got this idea from an Instagram post I saw, (which I will link below) so this is one of those topics where I don’t know much about it so I’m learning right along with you as I write this!
So basically aphantasia is when one is short of “minds eye” and has a hard time visualizing images in their heads. Like for example, if someone tells you they’re going to a restaurant, you can easily visualize the restaurant in your head. Unlike people who have aphantasia can’t do that. What does this have to do with autism you might ask? Well, some research done in 2020 showed a correlation between aphantasia and autism. “Aphantastics reported more autistic traits than non-aphantastic controls”. -@theautisticlatina on Instagram. This is persistent with present autism criteria when it comes to a diagnosis, especially with mentally manipulating 3d images. Interesting fact! This study also focused on autism’s connection to synesthesia, (which is when you experience one of your senses through another according to Wikipedia), as well! There isn’t much known information about aphantasia, as it was only made to be an official condition in 2015, and scientists have yet to catch up to study more on it. The causes of apanstasia are yet to be known, but some scientists think it may be trauma, which makes sense why it’s a common autistic trait. I don’t think I struggle with this, though. Here’s some emerging research according to the non Instagram source linked down below. (Referring to aphantasia). “This lack of mental imagery was described as early the late 1800s, yet it has remained a relatively unstudied phenomenon. Francis Galton first described the occurrence in a paper on mental imagery published in 1880. In addition to noting that people experience various degrees of vividness when describing their mental visual imagery, he also reported that some people experienced no visual imagery at all”. -Kendra Cherry from verymindwell.com. This is interesting that this source says scientists been researching this for that long, yet another source says the complete opposite. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments! So that’s about it for this post. I know it’s kinda short, but there isn’t much posts and articles I could find of it relating to autism. However, if you want to learn more about it, I’ll tag the links I used for this post. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! *A special announcement- I’m working on something exciting with an awesome person coming up this week that should be released in the next 2-3 weeks. Does anyone have any guesses on what it is?!* Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Tik Tok- @embracingmysuperpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CSYIJORrbr6/?utm_medium=copy_link https://www.verywellmind.com/aphantasia-overview-4178710 Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! For my post this week, I will be writing about autism and routine and changes. I’ve known this fact for a long time, but I’m still going to use an amazing post from @neurodivergent_lou on Instagram to help me with this post, and you guys can hear two points of view!
The vast majority of autistic people/people with autism do best when we know what we’re doing ahead of time, have schedules, and when everything is the same, and helps us manage our anxiety. Routines help us with our executive dysfunction, and our sensory and social skills, so without one, we’ll have to make more choices on what we do with our day. It also take SO much out of us just to make a simple decision. Routines also help us navigate your world. Aka the NT world we live in. Routines are helpful for the most part, but sometimes can be a challenge if you have too much on your routine and get in the way of us living our best lives! @neurodivergent_lou talks about how her morning routine helps her and I agree. My (workday) weekday morning routine helps me be more responsible, and a better version of me when I’m at work. This routine is that I wake up at 5:45 am, which I will probably never get used to lol. I go on my phone for a little (well, 30 mins at my dads house since the commute is WAY closer). I then get dressed and have breakfast. (Sometimes in reverse order also). When I’m at my moms, I drive my moms car with her in it so I can practice for my license. When I’m at my dads, I walk since I live 5 blocks away. (If my bosses are seeing this, please don’t switch my schools). After work no matter who’s day it is, I walk back to my dads house and spend the day there. I go back to sleep when I get home from my morning shift which is from 7-8 am. I then relax and go back in the afternoon. Then depending on the day I get picked up or I walk. This turned into my weekday (workday) daily routine lol. It’s hard for me to change my routine. When I’m at my dads house, I could technically wake up at 6, instead of 5:45 but I don’t want to since it may throw me off. This is because we don’t have much time to prepare for the change. Even though I would in this case, it’s still stressful. We focus on the details of our routine so changing it in the slightest will change the details. We tend to fail to see the bigger picture. When our routines change, it is very overwhelming. Like when I make plans with friends and when they cancel or when I have to cancel, it gets stressful because those plans were engraved in my head that this was going to happen with certain people, on a certain day, at a certain time. Even these types of changes like changes of physical space, changing your food choice, buying new things, moving houses or schools can also be stressful, and overwhelming. There are lots of ways to cope with this type of change including putting the day on your calendar and seeing that it’s there, having a pros and cons list, a list of a step by step process on how to deal with the change, etc. So that’s about it for this post. Honestly, I did not think I’d even post this week because I was hyperfixating on my newest special interest a littleeeeeee too much (week 29). Just being honest lol. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all next week! Email- [email protected] Instagram- @embracingmysuperpower Facebook- Embracing my Superpower Tik Tok- @embracingmysuperpower https://www.instagram.com/p/CO-0LXEs_CD/?utm_medium=copy_link |
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